I am trapped between living and dying.
I don’t know why I keep fooling myself into thinking that I will ever get better. It always gets worse. I just want all of this pain to go away. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to be happy, I just can’t do it anymore. I’ve been depressed for over 3 years now, and I’m almost 17, and I see no future for me. I’m too much of a coward to end it, but I feel like I should kill myself now. Now seems like a really good time. I shouldn’t be so afraid, I should just do it already. I should have done it years ago. My life is fucking hell and I can’t do anything right, and I’m always worried, always hurting, always sad. I’m so empty inside and nothing even feels real anymore. I thought I was getting better, but I will never get better. I’m not supposed to be alive anymore. I’m so scared. Someone- please- I’m so lost…I’m so dead inside.
5 comments
I see so many young people on here and it’s sad that so many of us feel that way so early. I was feeling this exact same way at your age. I spent night after night alone in my room wanting to die. I am one of those who finds beauty in despair. Depression can be hell, and we long to put an end to our suffering. But sometimes that is what life must be. Don’t snuff out your future just to end your present state of being. Things do change. I’m not going to tell you that everything gets better and stays that way. Because life will always be hard. But it will also be beautiful, even if it is soaked in darkness.
Well it sounds pretty bad and there isn’t much detail so I don’t know even if I can help but there is one person that helped get me through the shit in my life. It was Jesus Christ and you may not believe but please at least try praying sincerely to Jesus and ask for him to make your life better. I hope he helps you and you decide against suicide.
Hi. Right now, I’m not capable of saying anything encouraging for the same reasons you explained in this post. Believe it or not, your post described exactly how I was feeling. This world is full of lost people, and we happen to be among those few. I don’t know why, but I think you should keep living. Life is hard, and there are going to be a ton of problems along the way. We’ll eventually get past them. Somehow.
Despite saying this, I’m still trying to convince myself of it all. But for now, keep living. For the future, for the present, for the past, for all of those good moments, as few and far between as they come.
I felt the same way you do when I was your age. I am kind of a loner, too. Life has its ups and downs, but even though I’m not exactly “livin’ large” and I have my share of problems. But I have been there when I felt that life would never get better, but things changed. And sometimes you have to get to know more supportive people to have in your life and that comes with time. Just be patient 🙂
Thank you so much guys. I’m still alive and I’m surviving, so that’s good. Thank you.