Regrets are such set backs for me. For example, today, I was thinking about when I lost my virginity (I mentioned this in a previous post). I try not to to think about it too much, but, it kept coming into my mind today…
Anyway, I was thinking what a stupid decision it was. How I could have turned this guy down and just not have done it in the first place. I remember, the day of, I felt great, confident, and just really cool ( as any 13 year old would after having sex…). Same with the day after, only a few very close friends knew, and none of them were giving me a hard time about it. But then came Monday. I know this sounds cliché, but as I walked down the hallway, almost every single girl turned and gave me dirty looks and whispered to each other. All the guys looked at me like they worshiped me. I got so many mean texts from people I barely knew who liked the guy, and one of my best friends turned on me just because she didn’t agree with my decision to have sex. But the worst part, was that the guy that I had sex with, someone who had been a really close friend of mine through the years, acted like I barely existed. I felt so completely betrayed and used.
Then, the worst part, of it all, my parents found out. As someone with anger management problems/ alcoholism, my dad yelled all the time, it was something that my family and I were accustomed to. But this, this was something we had never seen before. Like a scene out of a movie, his face got red, spit flew, and I could sort of feel the wall vibrate from the sheer volume of his voice. He kicked me out, however, later that day my mom finally persuaded him to let me come back in the house. But neither of them looked at me the same way.
The part that bothers me isn’t that I didn’t wait to lose my virginity, I’m not really that conservative, I didn’t really need my first time to be “special” or ” magical” or whatever, it’s that I lost a friend. Truth was, except for this one thing, he really was a good person. I told him personal things (that of which he kept personal) and he helped me through some hard stuff, as he has been through some as well.
But I really just can’t spend all this time regretting things and blaming them on myself, because it only gives me more reason to hate myself and drags me into an even deeper and darker depression, and puts me one step closer to killing myself
4 comments
Honey a lot of guys are assholes and they get what they want, and forget about you. That really pisses me off. I was recently on a cruise and a girl I met in the teen club made out and fooled around with a guy, I found out which one he was and I gave him a black eye and broke his nose. I hate guys who treat women like objects, like they have no feelings, and just a piece of meat to stick their dick in. But I’m not like that, if you ever need a friend to talk to, I’m here for you. If I’m not on the site, shoot me an email at JacobJ234@gmail.com.
It sounds like you have a similar family situation to what I had when I was growing up. With me, my family split up when I was 12 and I got two abusive dads out of that deal. I made a lot of bad decisions, too.
The thing is, you know the way forward. You ended your post with, “But I really just can’t spend all this time regretting things…”
No. You can’t. Mistakes are life. Progress is made not from what you do right, but by what you do wrong, and what you learn from it. How you react to it is what defines you.
you need to stop beating yourself up about it. you can NOT go back and undo what is done.
Ok – you made a mistake. move on. let it go. yup, people are gonna judge you. that is life. part of growing up is owning up to the stupid stuff you do. TRUST ME – i have done far more stupid stuff than you ever will. Not even close.
so forgive yourself – you are not a bad person. you are NOT a bad person….. let it go. Just be glad your not pg.
in time, if you make BETTER choices – people will stop judging you and actually gain MORE respect for you for improving your life.
you have to remove the word regret from your dictionary. regret will pull you down. no good will come out of it. you can’t think or function properly if you will always regret things. it’s done. we do something out of curiosity even if we know(what you’ve read, what parents tell you) the outcome. that’s normal. and i blame people who sa “never do this, never do that, this will happen…blah blah blah”. we only become more curious and tempted to see what the fuss is all about. and then we make mistakes. and then they will blame you for not listening. “i told you so..”
this is so simple. do something. if it’s a mistake then learn from it. if not then good for you. you just have to realize that you’re only human. we make mistakes. this is something that teaches us to grow. experience will make you stronger. step up for your decision. say this “this is what i did, this is the consequence and i have to face whatever it is” move on with life. if you’re tired of people saying things you don’t like to hear, you will learn the secret to life. once it enters your left ear, let it pass through to the right. you don’t care, you’re not angry, it like playing deaf if you don’t like what you’re hearing. what’s done is done. if they are still affected then let them be. so the next time you make a major decision make sure that you know that whatever happens you will stand up for what you did. saying sorry if you really mean to can also help remove some regrets.