This is just a list of thoughts that I feel guilty about and wish I could tell different people. I’m willing to give further explanation if it’s needed, but yeah, I don’t expect anyone to ask or care or anything, it’s just a way to get it all out.
1. I should have got you both help rather than trying to be superwoman. I mean making a mistake once is bad, but making it twice is worse…
2. I should have never told what happened. Now we both feel guilty.
3. I should have tried to make things right earlier rather than letting you suffer alone
4. It shouldn’t have taken this for me to own up to responsibilities, you deserved so much more than that.
5. I know it’s over, but I should have found some other way to take my anger out. You are my sister and I should have been protecting you, not hurting you.
6. The reason I don’t talk is because in our society, my problems are common like bullying or a heartbreak and honestly, none of you could possibly understand how I feel until you have been through it.
7. I want to die, but I can’t stand the guilt it will cause you all
8. I know you are happy now, but I’m sorry I ruined your life
9. I’m sorry I stopped caring. I promise I will be the old me from now on.
1o. I hate myself more than anyone could even though deep inside I know I’ve done nothing wrong.
Well I guess that’s all for now
CPC