The worst things come free to us

In 15 not very rich I have to clean houses with my mom. When I grow up I want to become a cop or join the military but i cant because my mom decided to bring me here illegally I didnt want to come. I feel like theres no future for me if your an immigrant then you would know that its practacly impossible to get the citizenship. Im not popular at all high school is really hard because im not pretty and im really quiet I might be the most dumb in this house. My sister gets the best grades while im getting 60s even though i study and work harder than anyone in my class. I want to go places with my friends but I cant cause i have to work I feel like no teen should go thru that but Ill feel like shit if I dont help. I just wanted to write this because suicide has been so vivid lately. I do cut my self my has seen them but I made up a story my sister says im just trying to get attention. I cant afford to go to therapy. I have real insecurities not like my fat and no ones is ever going to love me its a skin condition I can even wear a normal t shirt or shorts. I love my mom but I think they wil be better off with me. I dont want to go to college but my sister cant wait my mom is going to force me to go if i dont go she will look at me like im a failure ill be a waste of money. My dad wants nothing to do with me I contacted him 2 months ago but he changed his number. I dont want to live anymore