I just recently started to view this site while I was researching suicide methods and I thought i can probably get a lot of info from people on here
So my story: i am 20 years old and I am ready to try to end my life. When I was 16 I tried to overdose twice and failed both times I go through strong bouts of depression fairly frequently and in between them my anxiety and emotions don’t allow me to live my life. recently though times have gotten extremely hard I was forced to move back home after living with friends and so now I feel like my support system is gone,but they don’t understand or know how I really feel. My girlfriend of 2 years then moved into college the next day and we have been rocky for months and deep down we both know that things are about to end. Truthfully she has been my world and the only thing keeping me going and stopping me from trying this sooner. My parents put me on anti depressants when I tried to OD four years ago but they made me feel different.. Like someone was trying to force me to be happy through drugs when I wasn’t, the problems were still there the pills couldn’t take that away. My parents were embarrassed of me when I tried to OD my dad even exploded on me saying how he had raised me better but they don’t understand how I feel. I hate the college I go to and have no motivation to even go to school but I don’t have the money to go anywhere else. I spend my days living in fear and confusion I fear losing my girlfriend and friends because then I will be alone, but in the case of my girlfriend it has just pushed her away. I don’t know who I really am or what I want out of life, all I know is my fears and pains have ruined everything for me but I can’t stop them. People say these are the best times of my life and growing up gets harder, but if that’s the case all the more reason to end it now because if I am miserable now how will I be later. Now I know there are thousand and thousands of people out there with worse stories and worse lives than me but the emotions and pain I live with everyday is just more than I can handle personally and I’m just ready to give up thinking and planning is the only relief I feel anymore
Now to the questions: based on everyone else’s research and experiences which of the two is better ******** or helium. From everything I have read both are less painful ways to go. I have guns but am too scared I would botch the job. Now helium is easy to get in the disposable containers. Yet they have a spring loaded nozzle that only releases gas when the rubber nozzle is pushed down and it closes when released.. Anyone know how to rig the tank to continually flow? Also I see I will probably need a regulator yet I’m not sure how well it would work or help on a disposable tank. Would it be better to get ********, I’m not sure of what size tank I would need but buying an empty one online is easy, but then I may need a cover story which I’m not sure of what I would say? Are there age restrictions on any ******** purchases whether it be the tank or refilling it? Finally has anyone found any good references on making a reliable hood? Thanks ahead of time for all who read and help
4 comments
i dont know anything about about ******** or helium…. but i have someone in my life who i care for very much who is around your age and i would not want to imagine them commiting suicide…i know how it feels when someone is your world and you depend on them for your happiness but i recommend finding something that you love to do that you have passion for it can help you find motivation…
Thank you for your concerns I really do appreciate them but its more than just the girl its the culmination of everything. I can’t escape it all and my girlfriend is my biggest support but I don’t think she cares too much about me anymore all I do is cause her problems and all the other things going on in my life are just too much for me I’ve made up my mind
Story of my life right now currently with that response.
My story is very similar. I know how you feel. I was researching the ******** more as I heard it was quicker than helium. But I can’t find how much/what size tank you actually need