So I am strong… I thought I was strong…. I need to be strong. I got a job. I am doing kinda well in my studies. I have a boyfriend. It all just seems pointless.
Why do I have to pretend I am strong, why can’t I be the one who needs comforting, understanding and to be listened to? All this hard work, all this pretense and for what? To keep up an image? So when I leave this world what is my image going to do for me? Or all those times I played the strong one for everyone else, will they be there to be strong for me? I doubt it. We are all alone are we not? Sure we might have friends who care, and hell, I care for my friends too but it is not enough is it?
I wouldn’t take my own life, no, I am too much of a coward. That is the truth. But I leave the thought to wander in my mind, I picture it, I succumb to that lost feeling because it comforts me. I want to give up but something just doesn’t let me. I want to break down, and I am sure I am pretty close to that edge, yet it almost feels like a dream. It is too easy to quit now, just when I think I can’t take it anymore. That empty darkness that must be there when life ends, it probably is comforting, I wish someone could tell me what it is like. At least, when the times come for my life to end whenever that is fated to happen, I have something to look forward to.
Every day we live we are just closer to dying anyway, so what’s the point?
3 comments
There isn’t a point, but does there need to be a point?
Fuck points. Fuck expectations. Do what you want to do to be happy =)
Your life really is all about you. Whatever makes you feel good is what you should be pursuing, where ever that may take you.
That feeling when your boyfriend holds you, when you laugh, when someone says thank you for doing something nice. THAT is what life is all about, it’s all in the details.
It’s quite a beautiful place to be, you’ve just got to look for it =)
ur right clevermetal god is stopping u becuase u need to get to knw him becuase he loves u nd he makes life gr8 he will never leave or fosake u
the skilet song the last night listen to it tht shws u hw much he loves u i will tell u tht my friends dad commited sucide whn i was at my firends house i still cn hear the gun shot ringing in my ears so i knw tht sucide is horrible feeling tht no one shld go through