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tell me why i shouldnt kill myself

by hellfireallaround
written by hellfireallaround

i dont know what to say im so empty right now i feel like there is no reason why i shouldnt die i might have been the cause for my sisters death i dont know anyone i can talk to face to face i was in crittenton mental hospital 5 times and after that i was put in spoffard for 6 months the only reason im not dead yet is because i dont want to hurt my family but i keep thinking how selfish they are why shouldnt i? i could do it now i just dont fucking care anymore maybe if it looked accidental that would be better to finding an empty bottle of bleach next to my body maybe i could jump under a semi or something idfk wtf am i doing? i need SOMEONE ANYONE in my life that i can talk straight too not having to lie about how my day is going not having anything i just want peace in death my only wish is that it would be as if i never lived and just STOP not be anymore because i know i had a purpose all my life ive had a sense of urgency and now its just silence there is point to it all ive prayed and prayed for god to show me something that would make me want to live not this pointless ongoing pain if you reply please no pointless repetitive you matter bullshit just tell me whats there to live for

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7 comments

Ashley 8/21/2012 - 3:32 am

“What is there to live for?”

I was just asking someone this not long ago and have been thinking it myself for quite a while. If I were to say to you, “I am sick of life and I want to kill myself, right now” would you tell me to go ahead and do it?

Tell me what you think about what I said.

hellfireallaround 8/21/2012 - 3:41 am

i honestly dont know what id say i might ask if you wanted to do it together or i might say killing yourself is such a waste of life but then again life is such a waste of energy theres too much trauma and bullshit out there idk

louise50 8/21/2012 - 5:47 am

OK hellfireallaround, I’ll try a different angle. YOU DON’T MATTER, YOU DON’T MATTER! You are completely insignificant in the scheme of things, no one would miss you if you were gone and in actual fact you would be relieving them of a burden. There is no God to pray to, and even if there was, do you honestly think he’d listen to YOU?

Life is a terrible waste of energy that you could be spending being…uh, dead.

So what’s there to live for? Well I’ll turn the question around. What is there worth DYING for hellfire?

C’mon love. Answer the question!!

Strict Zx

ro2428 8/21/2012 - 4:51 pm

I see what you’re saying. Everybody expects for there to always be a smile on your like nothings wrong. You reply ” everythings great” but inside you’re falling apart. I don’t do it cause those around who love me I don’t want to hurt them. Maybe that’s a good reason

Nat.... 8/22/2012 - 11:39 am

You want someone to talk to?
MissN.JejnaATliveDOTcoDOTuk
email me?

hellfireallaround 9/18/2012 - 12:48 pm

sorry i havent been able to respond im still here and things are so much better now! i feel like i can breath again it may sound weird but i have been reading alot about sacred geometry and its opened my eyes to allot of new things it wasnt my everyday life that was depressing it was my own self hatred and my inability to let go of what has happened to me the cult was not my fault it was my moms and she has paid for it over and over again i had to ask myself if it were to happen all over again what would i have done? and i realized everything would have happened the same it wasnt me it was them and im finally free of it thank you so much for your help and support for showing me that people do care that there is still good in this world

Patfor333 4/5/2013 - 11:39 pm

Oh my God… I am late.. but right now I literally jumped when I read that last post… I found “Spirit Science” on youtube… soon after something happened and my depression snapped. I tried to kill myself again and was caught. I was sent to a semi local mental hospital for my well being. The nice ness and honesty of most of the people made me feel good again. When I came home, I fed my addiction for Spirit Science. I have been feeling better for the most part… Except recently. I was trying google for reasons to live again, and I found this. I think I may ask to go back to the mental hospital soon. I want to kill my sister and my mom sometimes.. I broke my phone today and a window because of my problems. I know I am crazy, I probably deserve to die.. Anyways, please reply

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