Hi everyone, I hope you can find the time to read this.
I’m an 18 year old boy living in england and I have just finished sixth form. I have been diagnosed with depression now for about nine months. I have seen numerous doctors and nurses and taken many different medications. I have attempted to take my own life about ten times now and although everytime I have tried I have failed I am sad that I have failed.
It all started about january time, I was dumped by a girl I really liked and I was heartbroken. That was the start of my problems. After that I started arguing with everyone, even my mum and other close family. I stopped eating as much. I stopped talking to my friends. I started scratching myself with scissors and other sharp objects. I stopped doing schoolwork and going to my lessons. I am now not going to university while all my friends are going. My bigget fear in life is being alone yet I dont like talking to people when I am feeling down. The only reason I dont just go hang myself right now is that my mum will have to come find me in the morning and she will be left with that image for the rest of her life. This is my life.
Please somebody comment, anybody
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4 comments
Oh my goodness you are the boy version of me. My depression started with the break up from my ex. Other factors have started to pile onto my depression but since the break up I’ve kept to myself, I don’t want to be around anyone, I want to be alone, yet I want somone to talk to but I still refuse to talk to anyone. I understand you completley. Something that helped me a little was taking walks outside. If that’s something you’d be interested in doing think of something you’ve always wanted to try, painting, singing, violen lessons, anything, and go out and do them. I believe productivity helps, so I know it will be hard but go out there and do something. Maybe it will help you.
Tell someone. Anyone. Pick whoever you trust the most and tell them exactly how you feel. It’ll be difficult, it might turn out to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done, but who ever said the things truly worth having come easily? Chances are there are more people out there who care more about you than you ever imagined. Seriously, I lost 10 years to this disease and am only now starting to put my life back together, and I just wish I’d spoken to somebody sooner.
I know the feeling.. I really do. And it sucks.
I honestly thought I was the only one that felt this way, I am relieved that I am not but then again it doesnt help me in any way. I thought postibg on here would, I thought I would wake up and everything would be okay. But its not