Hi everyone 🙂 I’m Taylor. I just found this site and I wanted to introduce myself.
My story: My depression first kicked in during 8th grade. 2 years ago. I have been bullied all my life for being short. In 8th grade it was that and the work load pressure built up to a maximum. One day I broke down crying. I was home alone with my brother. I started thinking suicidal thoughts and how I would be better off dead. I went to the kitchen and got the biggest and sharpest knife I could find. My brother saw this and he chased me to my room and got the knife from me. I was crying hysterically and repeated “I want to die!” over and over. I just couldn’t do it anymore. I went to a mental hospital and therapy for a week afterwards. Then LATER in the year the bullying started back up and I tried to hang myself and my mom found out. I went back to the hospital. That was my last suicide attempt. 9th grade went by well after I came out as gay to all my friends. Now here I am, a sophomore in high school. This past weekend my boyfriend I had been dating for a month left me. After that…something just snapped in my brain. It kept telling me no one loves me and I’ll be alone all my life. I believed it. So I cut myself with a box cutter (Thank God it wasn’t deep enough to bleed) and then I started having random crying fits and I cut myself with a razor. I’m also bipolar so I’ll be happy for a few hours then sad again. I just don’t know what to do anymore.
2 comments
Hey Taylor:), bullies suck, and unfortunately they’re everywhere, but that’s no reason to kill yourself. When people hear bad things about themselves again and again they begin to convince themselves that they’re true. Don’t let the bullies get to you; there’s nothing wrong with being short or gay or any of the other silly things they bullied you for.
Are you still talking to anyone about these feelings? If you’ve been clincally diognosed with bipolar disorder you could ask about medications.
Hey Taylor,
Firstly, welcome to SP! I just wanted you to know first that I’ve read your post twice to make sure I didn’t miss anything… Anyhow, the first few sentences caught my attention because that follows my life 100%- grade 8, get bullied, stuff happened, potentially get suicidal- I’ve attempted 5 times in my life, i’m in senior year of high school now. I’m also bipolar- i’ve been diagnosed with bipolar II- I definately understand most parts of your post. If you ever wanted to talk about anything else, feel free to talk– not to make this creepy or something, but I definately look forward to reading more of your posts- we already definately have a lot in common 😉
If you tell me more about yourself in future posts, i’ll try to give feedback that’d make you feel better without being a hypocrite… haha.
Sincerely,
-Nobody