i am 15. Â i dont know where to begin. i just cant take anymore. i dont feel like it is worth it to try so hard for nothing. My mom, it just seems like no matter how hard i try for her or how much i work to make things right im always wrong. im always fucking up over and over again. and just when i feel like things might get better they fall down. i feel alone. even the people i though were close to me dont want to listen to me. thats all i want. is for someone to listen to me. for someone to realize im not okay. i dont think i will ever be okay. My mom thinks im making it up and there is no way i could be. im not sure what i could put to describe the way i feel. somebody help me
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Don’t fret, people don’t know how specail you are and they don’t understand the fullness of your potential. Someone who takes the time to try and figure out what makes you mad, why do you cry, and your favorite color, is worth holding on too. Someone who would listen to everything and take it seriously is so hard to find. I met people who feel that suicide is the only way, which I’m not saying it is wrong but I’m saying that why leave someone behind when they too need your help. They too need a word or two that would put them in shape and back in the fight. You are not wrong, everyone has something different and unique about themselves and everyone needs someone who would listen. I put my needs aside and would sacrifice it all if your willing to stay in the fight. I won’t give up on you or anyone else, because I believe together we will survive this and show the world what love really means. To never let go to a total stranger, to listen to every word, and to defend your every right to assembly. Isn’t this worth fighting for, isn’t this worth holding on too…
Anthony T. Kimble
I dont think you understand what im feeling exactly. My friends are fed up with me. they want me to smile and shut up
Hi Acid_hagar,
You need to relax, and concentrate on telling EXACTLY how you feel. Don’t leave anything out. You need to be honest with yourself. This will help people here as well as any therapists that you might see in the near future assist you. You should journal your feelings as well to help the professionals help you. Get it down on paper or computer, it helps sort out all the stuff floating around in our minds.
I remember when I was 15, I felt the same way. I struggled through and didn’t seek help right away like I should have, damn near destroyed myself. The TEEN years are very difficult. I have battled depression off & on for 30 years. You need to convince your Mom (or parent or guardian) that would need psychotherapy ASAP. You start there, then, if necessary, meds can be effective. BUT, often psychotherapy is all that’s needed too
Forget therapy and meds. What exactly is your problem? Why do you think you’re not okay?
Acid_hagar;
I’ve been where you are. My first attempt was at 16; I knew even then that I would never fit in with other people or “society”. Now I’m and old bag and, rather than listening to my own inner voices, have been faking my way thru life the entire time. I did things I was “supposed” to do, that I didn’t want to do, all those years and it was all for nothing. Still don’t fit and never will.
My message to you is please don’t repeat my mistake. You ARE O.K. Your mistake is trying to please others, not yourself. Do not try to be who you aren’t. You are correct, people don’t want to listen to you. It “interferes” with their shiny, happy, phoney, lying, self-centered lives (unless they’re being paid, which is a complete waste of time).
Dear young woman, give yourself a chance to figure out who you really are/want to be. Take your time and don’t let anyone push you in “their” direction. Are there any other relatives you could stay with? By the way, since Mommy Dearest is not being supportive, I’m betting that she has some major issues (unresolved) of her own. Try to remember, SHE’s the one with “problems, not you. You are young and can accomplish anything you decide is important to YOU.
Best of luck, keep us posted
i feel….kind of empty. i dont know exactly how to put it. i feel like ive made another person for the world but then when i actually think about things, im hollow. im empty. i feel like i need something and i dont know what it is. i dont have anyone to stay with. because my Dad, i left because of alot of issues ive had with him since i was a baby. and it fucked with my head. i dont like making people feel like shit by explaining it but it fucked with my head. sometimes i wish that i was crazy so i had another personality to talk to… because i feel like im suffocating. like a balloon… im full of air… but im going to pop…or hit the ceiling.
Acid_hagar
I also have (had) major issues relating to my parents. Dad has some special surprises for me too, ever since I can remember. I can only guess what a few of yours are, but I’m sure I could add to your experiences. Both of my parents were cruel in more than the usual ways. Would be a long story.
Because you are a young woman, you still have a chance of regaining some balance. My suggestion is that you find a physical outlet for your pain. Exercise, particuarly weight training and speed walking, were the only things that wore my anger out, for a long time. It was either that or smashing skulls. Pushing your body will not land you in a drooler hospital. Other behaviors will. Start slow and focus on your anger as you progress.
Please keep us updated – thanks