I keep telling myself if it wasnt for my kids id already be gone … but over the last few weeks ive pretty much been told im not a good person im crazy im poison, i ruin every thing … so if all that is true whats the point … i know my kids need me but they still have their other parent … so seriously if all i ever do is ruin other peoples lives neway and i poison everything then whats the point of sticking around to continue to poison everything… why not just take the plunge and be down with it?
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My mother abused me my whole life, but I can honestly say if she killed herself I wouldn’t live for a second more. Don’t do that to your children. A child’s mother is they’re most prized possession
I keep coming back to the thought id kill myself if my grandparents weren’t still alive.
I wish my mother would kill herself after everything. Honestly shes so delusion about the nature of our relationship and what happened in the past, that’d probably be the easiest thing she could do to give me any consolation.
A friend of mine CONSTANTLY complained about her parents, and how she wished they’d just leave her, or they’d get sick and die. A month later, that very thing happened; her parents were in a car wreck. Her mom died immediatley and her dad died in the O.R. She’s started cutting, and she sits in her room at night, repeatedly hitting her head against the wall, and every time I see her, she’s gotten herself a new bruise on her stomache or face or arms or back, and I’m afraid she’ll kill herself if she goes on this way. So if you truly love your kids, live for them. Don’t make them go through the mess my friend is going through..
Wait until your kids turn 21. They will be (more) emotionally mature by then and will have a jump on their lives… an idea of what they want to be. Reconsider your options then.
It’s nice having a date set… enduring to a specific point. That’s how I cope. I have all the materials I need to kill myself right in my house for easy assembly. If I wanted to I’d be gone in sixty seconds. it gives you an option in an optionless world, power when you are powerless. Even though I haven’t used it, I’m ready… prepared. Believe it or not, it makes things easier.
Just a thought.