I hate myself and I wish I’d never have been born. That’s easier than say “I hate myself and I want to die”. Ok, I do, but wishing never been born it’s…better, I guess. I’m very angry. I want to keep visiting this sites and talking about my problems but, what problems? My life have been really common and good and I don’t suffer, I just think that but there’s people who are really broken and need to be fixed. I think I won’t visit this site again because I want to die, I’m sad and all that but I’m just not like you, I don’t know. I like being sad, I don’t want to be helped, I just want to be listened and you’re all here to help people who are in some urgent situation. I don’t, because I will not kill myself. I’m not able to and I don’t have a chance or a gun. So I’m sure no one would like to listen to the problems of someone who’s not a priority. It’s like “You’re sad, you’re not going to do something stupid and also you don’t want help. What the fuck is going on with you? As I see it, we can’t do anything so we’ll just ignore you”. Now I feel worse, but never mind. I will not do anything so now I’m nothing.
Alone again, naturally.
If I’m just a parasuicide, and I admit it, so I’m not important. Now I understand that term, “parasuicide”. It sounds like parasite. That’s what I am: a parasite who want to fuck the people.
If anyone want to talk, which I doubt , guess I’m here to listen and, in case something divine happens, to be listen.
Thank you all. I don’t use to say this, but I love you. All of you. Sorry for being so sappy.
5 comments
If you need help, then you should talk. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re currently planning to kill yourself. There’s no list on this site where people are listed in order of predence based on how suicidal they are. If you want to be sad and miserable, and you don’t want anyone help, then there’s nothing anyone can do. If you do want to talk, we will listen.
Express your feeling just as you want to. Some people won’t understand but others might feel identified with you and your problems. You don’t need to be a “certain type of a depressed person” to post here and have people listen. Ignore any hateful posts or comments and concentrate on those which match your expectations.
Scar504 and Black Swan, thanks. I was thinking about that because I was in some suicide forum talking and when I finally said that I couldn’t kill myself they told me “So why are here?”. Thanks to the context, I felt like I were a charge, I usually feel that way.
Penny, I feel like your problem is just that you feel somewhat neglected and that you think you like miserable, because you get this attention that makes you feel better, or even some sort of crappy attention that’ll light up ten minutes of your life. What I think you honestly need is to let it all out, look for a talent, or something that makes you happy no matter what, or who you show it. Don’t listen to anyone except yourself, you are your own persona and no one is going to step on you, any less on this page, I assure you of it. Everyone is here, and everyone is going to support anybody. Penny, find something, get addicted to it, haha, no drugs or alcohol that’s never the solution. And when you smile because of it, do it all the time. I’m sure you’ll arrive to that point where you can live with out a single problem. That’s what I do, but if the problem is serious or if you are attempting to run away from it, I discourage running away, you must face any problem given to you, communication is great, and so on. (:
Aems, I can’t be sure why I like feeling miserable. Maybe is the attention, maybe is because give life a sense, or maybe is because I am stupid. I’m an addict to many things and it haven’t been better. I have to say that, in some occasions, I’m terrified of rejection. What I wish, in somehow, is a little attention but not everyone’s or anyone’s. Just from a few people, the people that mean something in my life.