I’m aching.
Life was falling apart in the summer. Horribly. I was seriously suicidal. I hoped everything would get better. Finally, the black cloud lifted from over my head and even when stuff was sad, I was ok. But it’s back. My mom has stage 4 breast cancer. She’s going to die. My dad is a jerk. And I’m almost out of the house anyway (university in a year) but I have young siblings. They need a mom.
Right now everything just hurts. I’m stressed with school, (I need high grades, I do well enough to get a 97 in Philosophy, but my English teacher is stupid and takes off like 15% for a single punctuation mistake), I’m trying to help around the house, trying to live with the fact that my mom will probably die, and I’m chronically ill. This all hurts too much. I can hardly bear it.
My friends are all at the fair right now. I couldn’t go because of my mom, and I don’t even care. You do what you have to do. But it means I’m aching and there’s nobody here to help.
I’m so alone.
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3 comments
You are not alone
What a terrific daughter. i don’t know why people can’t say that they appreciate you, even when they do. try not to let the loneliness consume you. I hurt for you. I remember losing my mom and having to explain it to my baby brother. It’s tough. no one who really understands will underestimate the pain you’re going through, so don’t underestimate your strength. Keep at it. Keep fighting. I wish I were better at English, or I’d offer to check your punctuation for you.
Thanks guys.
I feel so alone. There’s so many people standing by me, holding me up, but they don’t understand. They just don’t. They try so hard. i’m so grateful for that. But they don’t get it.
I am fighting, I’m just so tired of fighting. I’ve been fighting for over a year and I just keep getting weaker. 🙁
And thanks, you guys made me feel a little better.