So it’s been 5 days since I last posted on here. Ever since I wrote on here I’ve been thinking about suicide constantly. Last night I went and drove around, just to think. I ended up parking by a bridge in the middle of no where and thinking for hours. Its really comforting the more I’ve thought about it. I’ve gone as far as making my plan and writing my notes. 5 more days, just 5 more. Life is too damn depressing and repetitive.
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Stop. stop what you’re doing. i know what you mean that life’s repetitive, everyday being the same, depressing crap from the last day… but, think about this first:why don’t you change it? break the cycle and do something different for once.you can’t?try.
I have tried. Been trying for a few years, and it has always ended up the same. I’m done trying at this point.
If you want to talk, Im here. but if you dont, i completely understand. Sometimes its good to know that someone is there for you. I can be that person if you want.
I’ve done the same many times and every time when I finally have the guts to get it over with some stupid bullshit stops me cause I feel a happiness or something like it for a brief moment that day. I’m waiting for my dog to go so I don’t break his heart.
I’m 20 years old too and I’ve hated myself and thought about suicide for almost as long as I can remember. I’m doing well now, but that took years of therapy and medication and hard work. I’m not cured by any means, and I never will be. I still get tired of the struggle sometimes, and there are days when I feel so fragile.But I have gotten to do so many fantastic things with my life that I didn’t even know would be possible. I used to feel lonely and worthless as fuck all the time. Now I’m well-known and well-liked, I’m strong enough to help other people sometimes, I’ve traveled and had adventures, and I’m preparing to produce a play that I’m writing about depression. I feel like these are the things I was working for all those years and didn’t even know it.I’m glad that I have depression and that I’m surviving it. It means that I understand just how precious this happiness I have gained is. I don’t know you, but I want you to feel like that one day too.