I dont know who I am. I never really have. From the very begining I have always been told who I was: nerd, teachers pet, goody to shoes, stright A student, “the perfect daughter”, a good catholic school girl, and the girl who would NEVER say a bad word. It has gone on for so long that I have lost myself and have no idea have to find myself again. I want to but I dont have the will power anymore. I just want to give up and let myself go numb and fall into the molds that other people have made for me. But there is this small sliver inside me that wants to LIVE my life the way that I want too and to be the real me but doesnt know what to do, please help me!
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well first off you have to figure out what you like for example what hobbies do you enjoy or might enjoy
I go to a really small school so everyone there already knows me under those sterio types and i just dont have time for anything outside of school right now. :/
And second, you should find other people who share those hobbies and strike up a conversation with them about it/them.
exactly like join a club for these hobbies just make sure these hobbies are legal you seem like a good kid
ahhh high school i hated it also sterotypes are hard to get out of… how many kids would you estimate at your school?
I’m not sure a few hundred but everyone knows eveyone.
You sound like you could use a change of scenery. I don’t know how old you are but it might be helpful to do some traveling. Doesn’t have to be far. Just has to be something different. I have issues because I was strongly typed into a similar “nerd” role and I find every year I need to take 2-4 weeks traveling to new place. Travel is one of the few things that allows me to find myself and helps me put everything back into perspective.
Im not old enough to travel unless it would be running away which I have thought about but I just dont have the money and I can’t help but think that would just be my way of running away form my problems.
Or join a sport of some sort, or a class( like a community class) where you meet new people that don’t already know you. Then they can’t judge you based on what they already know, but instead on the impression you make. Be nice, and they’ll probably be nice back. It’s really not that hard. I guess. Unless you’re overly shy to the point of going mute like me. lol.
funny you should mention that… I am quite shy untill you get to know me but that takes a while… or so I hear 🙂
can’t you go to a different school? Or aren’t there any others?
There are but my parents would never let me switch. Plus it would be “against my caracter” to want to leave my current school because i am “just sooo happy there”. Thats what my perents say at least.
how about an after school job, you have to talk to co-workers you might make a few friends?
Maybe, but again the time problem comes into play but its a great suggestion.
i am teen also and i sometimes feel like breaking out of the confindes of my life i just want to start over somewhere i am almost like you straight A student (for the most part), never step out of line beacuse of my highly conservative parents. i’m scared to death of talking to people but once i know them i never shut up lol. but the difrrence between you and I is you know what you want out of life and you need to push for it, not agressivly just take a step a day, say high to that one person you don’t know, when you walk down the hallway have a smile on your face. you go to a store strike up a conversation with someone while you wait in line(don’t do this with sketchy people lol)
haha ok i will try that!
@lamme
lol I’m the same way. I literally DON’T talk at all(I can’t, it’s this thing called selective mutism, look it up) until someone talks to me, and then I’m really REALLY formal until I know them loads better, then all formality goes away. I guess you kind of just have to build up the guts to talk to other people. That’s all I can really give for advice, seeing as that’s all I really know to do. Which is why I hate when teachers make you form your own groups in class and you don’t really know anybody.
haha really your formal? I have never heard of that before but I know sort of what you mean I have to be talked to first unless I’m in a group setting then I’m loads better.
Why don’t you have time after school? Just wondering…
I play volley ball and my school is known for its unimaginable amounts of homework. I have tried not caring about school but it just makes me stressed out.
i’ve gotta ask what grade are you in because unless it’s 11 or above it shouldn’t be that much work
10… it’s the hardest year at my high school
yeah. I know what you mean. What about when volleyball is over? could you join any clubs then? and there’s still community classes, which are actually pretty fun.
maybe… but im suppose to be starting tharapy then
anywhooo I have to go to bed so I’ll be awake at school tomorrow and perhaps not have another panic attack. Will probably comment more in my morning. Night!! And I hope you find more solutions!!
yeah i should proble go to bed soon to… i hate panic attacks i feel so helpless..anyway… bye
usa or canadain because in canada it like 4 porvincial exams which makes it hard
USA
also i you don’t mind my asking why are you starting therapy?
that is a long story and i need to go to bed but maybe tomorrow….
night