I am an utter wreck, I lost my job, I am always at odds with my mother, I am constant arguments with my father, I bicker with my siblings, I distance myself from others. I seem to never care, I always think that looking out for myself is the best way to go. What is wrong with me? When I look at my knife on my table, I tell myself, maybe, just maybe,  If I’m gone from this world, I will never cause anyone harm and grief, I will never become a bother, I will never become a burden. For 10 years, I have been so bitter, towards the world, towards my family, the people around me, but mostly myself. People call me a freak, they call me useless. Others are so disappointed in me,I know they are, but what do they want me to do? What am I suppose to do? As I type this down, with tears still running down my eyes, and the blade on my desk, I keep telling myself, “maybe, just maybe” but, what is wrong with me? Why was I born into this world? Why Is my life like this? Why can’t I be happy like other people? Why am I never happy? I never expect people to do something for me, why should they? Why am I such a burden to my family and friends? Should I even call them friends when I am always like this?
As I type this down with tears running down, I hope people will see this, I hope people will hear my cries, and maybe, just maybe, I will finally be at peace.
5 comments
hello you .. well i don’t know if it helps. but you shouldn’t leave this world, even if it’s so cruel. you’re not alone, i promise. and it will get better, i dont know when .. but i know it will change. it have to change.
Thanks for the comment, I’m such a mess
oh no i don’t think that. you seem nice. you know i have to hide my arms .. because i cut myself my i dont want that my family see it .. i disppointed them already so often. what job did you actually had?
I worked at home depot, sales associate
It was the best job I ever had