Misunderstood

I’ve never been on any type of website like this.. i just kind of needed some people to talk to that actually can relate and understand how i feel. I thought I was moving forward.. i really did… I tried to commit suicide about 2months ago and it honestly scared the hell out of me.. After that night of almost having my stomach pumped i knew i had to get better…. but now.. I am starting to feel the same as before I committed suicide.. i have the urge to cut the hell out of my wrists and I’m always holding back tears.. i feel so alone.. my family doesn’t understand.. and i wouldn’t dare put them back through that.. they think its for attention.. and they think i am just crazy.. i can’t help the way i feel honestly… nothings for attention… i just want to feel better. I’m so tired of being depressed… I’m so tired of scaring myself with my thoughts.. i couldn’t tell you how many times I’ve imagined driving my car straight into a tree and crashing.. I haven’t been happy in so long i don’t know what it feels like anymore..Just wish it would end.. I’m so tired of feeling like a ticking time bomb.. I’m so tired of holding it all in .. and most of all I’m just tired of dealing with it. I just feel like why even try anymore… I’ve tried and look where i am.. the same place i was 2months ago..