im sorry for what i put you guys through
im sorry for the things i say
im sorry im the reason you guys hate coming home
im sorry i call you guys names, i wish every time i could take it back because you dont deserve that
im sorry i cant control my anger
i want you guys to be happy.
i realize now the way that could happen is if im gone.
mom. I know you think i dont appreciate you. I do. i feel like a failure
i should have showed you more respect.you didnt deserve the things i said to you
i was a horrible daughter.you say you dont like me or who i have become, im sorry i let you down
sis, i know you hate being around me but i loved being around you.
sorry you had to put up with all my shit and crying every day.
you guys tell me im a loser cuz i cant get a job, im just a burden and your right, I know you would be happier if i was gone I have heard you guys talk about it. and you have no idea how much that kills me inside.
4 comments
“i was a horrible daughter.you say you dont like me or who i have become, im sorry i let you down
Sounds very familiar. …Only in my case, I was a horrible son.
What you’ve written here — have you said these things to your mother and sister? Have you sat down with them individually and told them how sorry you are, that you didn’t really mean the things you said (you only wanted to say something to hurt them in the heat of the moment, if you’re anything like me) and that the fault is yours and that you do appreciate them, that you do love them? Saying these things is about as inviting as an ice-cold shower in January, but if you do jump in, you’ll find (if your mum’s anything like as gracious as my lovely mum was) that the water is actually wonderfully warm.
Look, I know I’m stupid and worthless, so anything I say is probably stupid and worthless too, but even if you are finally going to kill yourself there are ways before then there are ways you can let them know you care before you go, ways to say goodbye. You might even find things change and get better, so you won’t want to kill yourself after all. Just simply say “I’m sorry, I do appreciate you” just as simply as that. You say you can’t control your anger, but you can control how it comes out. When you know you’re angry, liable to say something you regret, keep your mouth tightly closed, and say nothing while too angry to control it. Leave the situation making you angry as soon as possible, and go to think about it quietly. Resolve to never call people the names you’ve used in the past. They’ll see a change in you, things might get easier for you and them. Talk calmly with your family about your anger. Even if it doesn’t work, at least you tried. Do something around the house you know is needed that someone else would do, something for someone else (doing dishes, cleaning, etc.). Surprise them with it maybe, do it when they’re out and let them be happy to find it. One nice thing each day. Sorry, I know I’m stupid, but just wanted to help. Please, at least try it though, you don’t have anything to lose, and you might find you enjoy it.
youre worth more then that.
youve made some mistakes. you can fix them. in time they will go away. you still have time to fix the problems with your family.
dont throw that away..
Yeah its true that you are worth more than that. And believe me parents are the only gifts that we have got in our life. Only your parents will be the one who will be there after anything and everything. Just tell them what is in your heart.