It’s sad really that I’m young, and so ready to die. I don’t think that I desvere to post on here really, I’ve never tried to kill myself. Too pathetic. I think about dying, quite a lot really oh and food. calories.calories.calories.calories. I was diagnosed with ‘anorexia’ 6 months ago. I don’t look anorexic, not like a ‘proper anorexic’. I go to therapy once a week, nod my head and pretend I’m fine. But I’m falling apart. I’m sure none of you will even carry on reading this, thanks if you are. I am worthless, stupid, ugly and not to mention FAT. FAT FAT FAT FAT. It is all i will ever be. FAT STUPID WHORE. It’s carved into my skin, so I will never forget. I can lose all the weight in the world but I will still be fat. I self harm too. I cut, cut cut cut… watch the blood trickle down my arm. I feel alive. I’m also depressed. I don’t feel sad, i just feel empty. Full of nothing. Numb.Cold. I’ve just started purging but no one knows. Shh, don’t tell. I’m a pro-liar, I lie to everyone. Lie about how many pill I’ve taken, what I’ve eaten or not eaten, where I’ve been, what the ‘cat’ did. I can’t take it anymore, waking up with no reason to live. I’m failing school, I cant do anything right. The only thing I’m good at is being….
FAT.
2 comments
I can be that person, if you just want someone to listen, someone for advise, anything.and if you want that then I’ll give you my email ?x
Hang in there
I’ve had it for most of my life. Someday you’ll look back at this and feel nothing. The most important thing you could do right now is to be honest with yourself. If you can’t be honest with your self the therapy will never work. It took me eight years to realize this. It’s okay if you don’t want to get better now, but someday you’ll be able to find the strength. <3