Okay, so I find myself coming on to this site for emotional support, even though I only made an account yesterday. So anyways, let me tell all of you on here now, that I’ve recently started cutting. I’ve been cutting for about a month now, and I can’t say that I’m proud of it, cause I shouldn’t be, that’s why I hide it behind my clothes and bracelets, etc. but one day, I decided to tell my friend L. who also cuts, so I thought she would empathize with me. She did, she really did. she asked me why, and at the time I said “I don’t know” and she then said “You have to know, there’s always a reason”
I told my friend L because I trust her, she’s just that kind of person that I can tell anything to and she doesn’t judge me, I even told her about being sexually abused. and believe me, that was hard to tell another living soul about. Anyways, back to cutting, so I’ve been hiding it pretty well, I bought really pretty sparkly bracelets so people focus on the pretty instead of the ugly hiding underneath, and that’s worked. even my best friend didn’t even notice! not even my parents notice. no one did. until yesterday.
I was sitting in art class, drawing a self portrait of myself when I noticed my friend A was looking at my arm, with a knowing look. she then passed me a note saying “I see your wounds” as soon as I read those words, I froze and tugged my long sleeve shirt down and I couldn’t look at her, in my head I was thinking “finally someone’s noticed” along with “shit someone noticed, what do I do” then she smiled kind of sadly and said “don’t worry, your secret is safe with me, I used to cut too”
I don’t know where this story is going, but I do have another little “crap moment” coming up.
after me and A had a heart to heart, I said something on Twitter that I shouldn’t have, since some kids from my school follow me on there. including my best friend. and now my best friend is hurt that I didn’t tell her that I cut, and that she had to find out through a social network. I do feel really bad about that, but I just I don’t know. if you guys are cutting or self harming yourself, do/would you tell your friends that you are? would it have made things better if I did tell them? cause I’m confused.
2 comments
You aren’t obligated to tell your friends every personal detail about yourself. No, it isn’t selfish, neither was your friend who hadn’t told you that she cut. If you think you can confide in someone, then tell them, but be careful.
I didn’t tell anyone when I moved school but someone noticed and told everyone, some people told teachers. I hate that everyone knows everything, because they allways give me looks, 1) the sympathetic look. 2) the disgusted look 3) the knowing look
But despite all of that, because my close friends know I can talk to people sometimes.
And because some teachers know a coupple of them are understanding and make life eaiser sometimes. So there are two sides to people knowing x