I realized that I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live.

I don’t now what I want anymore, it’s like I’m living in a fog/haze I’m not studying I’m not trying hard in dance I’m not evening trying to put up a front.

I would kill myself, but I’m afraid of the pain

I’m starting too not want too talk to my family I just go up too my bedroom and stay up there then go down stairs for dinner say a quick “hi” and then eat then go too my bed for the rest of the night.

I’m taking up space I know it too. I’m not gonna lie my family has alot of money we have a big house a cabin my dance costs thousands of dollars a month, but I don’t know if I want this anymore… I know I should be happy but I’m not I’m tired of trying too live up to my family’s name I’m tried of being the best dancer in my classes I’m tired of trying to out smart my brother and do better then him. I’m just tired!!

Im just tired… Of it all I just want to be me be “Olivia” not ” matts little sister” or “the one who solo won first last year” I just want to be me. But know one likes me so I’ll still but up a act, right u mean my family is perfect… Ha right if u only knew