what if i really wanted to be gone?

@Cholupabatman: Your post’s title is pretty catchy, and your query positively profound. I couldn’t help commenting. I’m not going to tell you what to do, since, like you, I don’t have access to some absolute blueprint to life. Plus, I think you raise some good questions/points. I don’t want to feel pain in dying, either. I don’t sense there’s any grand purpose to life-in general or mine in particular-either. I don’t like “the idea” of my future, either. And, I do have a job I don’t like to pay for a life I don’t want. But somebody’s gotta clean the bird-crap off the sides of bridges…

Your words really impressed me–so much so that I’m confident you’re so smart naturally you see through the vacuous platitudes we offer each other as comfort, as if we had “the answers,” as if pretty but unsubstantiable strings-of-words were justifiable because they’re pretty. I hope you find some sincere comfort soon, my friend. For what it’s worth, I enjoyed reading your post.