That is very contrast.
Suicide and Catholic?
I go to church every sunday, I attend the mass as much as I could. I am a very good catholic, am I?
Still I am a suicidal.
I tried to commit suicide for like 10 times or something? I ended up 3 times in the emergency room, 2 times in ICU. But still, I am alive.
Everybody say, God doesn’t want you to die, yeah, right.
I have been suffered from major depression disorder, mean been taking medicine for the last 5 years. That doesn’t help a lot, I guess. I still feel depress and wanna commit a suicide anyway.
My relationship with my parents is bad. They once turn their back on me, saying they don’t want me anymore, they can’t take care of me anymore. They left at the church during daytime, the priest taken care of me. Therefore, I have so close relationship with the church.
Anyway, my parents are nice to me now but still what they did, what they said, my heart is broken, they can’t unbreak it, they can’t undo my feeling.
Forgiveness play a big role in catholic teaching, but still I can’t forgive my own parents for what they did.
No matter what they do, no matter what they say now, it just doesn’t matter anymore. My heart is broken. And I guess it always be?
I can’t say that I love them, I don’t know. I do care but..
And I won’t believe in the words they say, how much they love me, it doesn’t matter anymore, I won’t trust them again.
I don’t expect anyone to be there for me, everyone come in and goes. What should I expect when even my own parents left me? My own parents.
God bless me with some good friends, some I admit. But I know they are all come and go. I can’t and better not expect them to be there for me. I don’t want to expect anything, cause when it fails, it hurt a lot and I don’t want to get hurt anymore.
I still wanna die but I just don’t know how. I mean how should I commit suicide? Overdose doesn’t work.
So I am here as long as I still can’t come up with the method which I am sure I will die.
I pray and pray every nights, to not getting up again, to just go to sleep and never wake up again.
I pray to God, take me, don’t let me do it myself.
But still I am here.
6 comments
well try fasting cuz if u kill yourself u go to hell..,…,, if u fast for GOD and not eat and pray and give God true worship and give Him your mind body and soul and ur spirit u will get there attention and u will be christ like and the human body cant go without food for 10 days or u die ,,….. u will get your answer by fasting by the 3 or 4th day trust me …it works i did and my parents now bow down to me ..,.., Jesus is real and there is power in true worship and fasting ….
I know I am going to hell if I kill myself.
I don’t know maybe purgatory?
I am not that afraid. I think I deserve that if I really success killing myself.
Hopefully, my brother will celebrate some mass for me after I am death.
My parents are not catholic, firstly they don’t want me to be catholic.
I admitted that being a catholic is the only good thing in my life.
I wonder if God hears my pray?
Yeah how could God be a jerk to you and so many others? You need a new habit, Maggie. 😉 Like loving yourself. I mean, look at Job’s decision to live… May angels stop you from leaving this planet with one less good woman. Peace.
You could be put in limbo ?
If you leave a note, ask people to pray for you. You could get into heaven,
I know limbo if full of unborn baby’s or babys that die very young, and people who die through no daly of there own. But if you have the best intentions in killing yourself ? God is supposed to be omnibenevolent, omniscient, and some other big words that I can’t remember.
You’ve always had faith and if god if forgiving and loves everyone, why is there a hell ? And why would you go there for commuting suicide ? I’ve never understood that.
Well, He is not a jerk.
I know my guardian angel must be pretty tough, he/she been protecting me from all the shits I have done. And in the end, I am still here, perfectly fine. Nothing serious have ever happened to me, judging from how many times I overdose the pills.
I just hate myself so much sometime, I think even my own parents don’t love me, who else will?
Does God love me, I am wonder? Yeah, maybe otherwise I will be getting a one way ticket to hell long time ago.
I don’t wanna kill myself but I just don’t wanna live, I want an escape from all these things, especially myself but no one can escape from themselves, right?
Can’t think of another way..death seem to be so easy.
I am not always down but at the point when I am really down, I am capable of doing anything stupid.
Magdalena, please, just keep trying. God loves you and I love you. Don’t give up. Just keep praying. I experience depression and want to kill myself sometimes: but I know that’s not the answer. It’s never the answer. Just hang on, it’ll be ok. Just give your worries and cares to God. He will reward you in the life to come if you have faith in Him, and do His Will. And trust me: the next life will be NOTHING like this one. It will be pain and worry free, and no suffering, no depression, no thoughts of suicide, none of that. I’m praying for you