Antisocial

I’m antisocial. Not a full-blown psychopath but 23 / 40 on the psychopathy scale. Not a nice place to be. Still able to feel guilt and remorse but unable to connect to anyone. There’s a black hole in me. Destroys everything I touch. Broken hearts, lost minds and so on. My tragedy is that i’d still like to be a good person. I’ve tried so hard over and over but I don’t know how. I’ve been in severe depression and/or drinking for the past two years. Managed to stay high-functioning though. Nobody can help me. And I’m all out of options.