im a twenty year old female. ive been using dope (a variety of opiates/opiods) for almost three years… i want to use them to end “it”. i was curious if anyone else felt this way?
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dear pessimist, sure there are others that have been on SP that have felt the same way. Opiods by their very nature are depressants, have you tried AA or NA ? I am a member of AA I have gone to NA meetings, I like AA better, yet to each his own, no has a lock on recovery it what ever meets your tastes.
Last christmas I was in New Orleans, was highly suicidal. I never purchased heroin before, yet had done some for free back in 88, I told the guy never ever get this for me again, because I liked it.
So last christmas I told the gofar to bring back enough for 4 days worth, he returned with white powder, and if it were cocaine I would say it was an 8th of an ounce. I poured a fat ass line and snorted it. I took 4 zanabars 2.mg. I went to the neighbors and smoked about 300 bucks of crack cocaine. I went back home and snorted the rest of the heroin and took 3 soma’s.
I slept for 2 and a half days, in and out of conscousness, yet I didn’t die, I even srewed that up, I had a .45 and couldn’t pull the trigger.
So there are alot of people here that try many different ways of overdosing and fail. I don’t know what types of opiods your eating, but you know as well as I do that your tolerance is way higher that the normal jane.
Pain pills are a poor choice with your tolerance levels unless your sure you have many time what you normally take in a day. If your taking anything with tylenol mixed with it, you could already have liver damage.
People that overdose on hydrocodone can wake up in the ER only to dye an agonizing death over the next day or two with failing kidneys and liver failure, it not a nice way to go. A person can instantly be brought to concsouness with an injection of Narcan which stop the opiod reactions in the body. So if you choose this way to go make sure your away from people and no one can call 911 and have the emt’s give you Narcan.
I would try AA or NA at least for a while to see if you really want to die, the hope they give is infectous and your lible to catch alcoholism or addiction thru the ears.
There have been a lot of recovering drug addicts on this site. It’s the most difficult thing but many of them have also conquered their addictions; it is possible. Sometimes you go so far and it feels like a long way back. Most of the damage that has been done whether it’s to psychological or physical health, financial, relationships and just life in general is reversible. It’s not like an elevator where you get of on a floor and are stuck there but it’s up to you whether you get out or not.
im supposed to go to my first meeting this week with a good friend of mine who is also recovering. i use dilaudid…i shoot them up. thats how i was planning on doing it. wait for my tolerance to go down for about a week. then buy as many as i can and shoot them after i down a new script of my klonopins…
i just hate the holidays. i hate my family except for my brothers. i know ill break my older brothers heart if i do this. he told me he wouldnt know what to do if something happened to me. but i am treated like dirt by my parents. funny thing is that htey dont even know about my drug problem. im sitting here looking aroumd my room at all the materialistic objects that mean nothing. thinking about how im supposed to start school in january but what is the point in life? i am a nihilist and to me there is no point.