where are you?

i wish i could stop caring about love….

i wish i never wanted it, i wish i wasnt obsessed with it as far back as i could remember…

i mean…  will i ever be loved?

will i ever feel as happy in love as i do in my ruminations?

i cant help but feel that i wont…

i cant help but feel like the guy who isnt good enough…

honestly, i havent been coming on and talking much, cuz im pretty sure things wont get better, and that i will eventually kill myself sometime soon…  i get anxious when my dad leaves me home alone, cuz my first thought is always, is this the day?

im just so lonely, all the time so lonely…  and who would want to be with me anyways…  im 27 with nothing, no job, no money…  i have a daughter, and i cant even get over my own bs so that i could make time for her….  im just wasting away…  and i feel like i should do it sooner than later, so that at least i wont be remembered for not being there…  i wanted nothing more than to be there and raise her with her mother as my wife…  but i guess it wasnt ment to be…  i guess my life of trying to be a nice guy and wanting love like the ones we see in the movies, was just a hopelessly romantic fantasy…

it makes me sad to see all the pretty young girls on here, all depressed and wishing they were loved too…  cuz i would litteraly die for a chance at love…  but who am i kidding…  i would probably only be a dissapointment and another stepping stone… i dunno…   if only i could find the courage to end this suffering…  but i am too weak after all… so i’ll cya round i guess…