Well July I was about to over dose but I already had a knife in my hand and decided it would be eaiser… I didn’t stop cutting untill about 5 am that day untill my friend calmed me down temporarily. Then the day after that my mom had been reading my texts and sent me to a mental hospital. And I still look back on that night and regret so much that I never did it. Nothing has changed really. Still my mother has custody of me. Still I want to kill myself. Still I regret not doing it that night. And still I wish I was never born because my life has been hell since I was three. Ten years later I have not changed at all. And that is leaving out almost every aspect of why I’m suicidal.
im so sorry to hear that. its difficult to want to go on everyday when youre in so much pain, but i’m asking you to try. i struggle with the pain of reality every day and it hurts like hell. is there anyone you can talk to, a friend, can you talk to your mom about this, a professional?
I have had a therapist since I was wight because I was in a shelter for people who try to escape abusive husbands and whatnot. That however was because I had a very abusive step father. Telling people has gotten me nowhere in the past. My mother found out and sent me to a mental hospital. Nothing has worked. I’m tired of going on when nothing ia getting better. In sick of the blood, the razors, the drugs and pills, the visits to the hospital. I’m sick of life and telling people hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Just deeperinto depression.
while we’re not going through the same thing, i can totally understand the feeling of being tired of nothing getting better. i am sobbing just as i type this right now, because i feel like everything is getting worse in my life and i have nothing left. im so sorry nothing is helping you either. keep venting on here though, really.
are there any things you can focus on that you enjoy? are there any goals you’d like to accomplish? i know it may be really hard to focus on anything else other than the pain.
I haven’t been able to focus through pain. I did marching band this summer and met some amazing people there who tried to take me under their wing and help me since I was an eighth grader in the highschool band. My now best friend Jessie whom I met there tried to help me but nothing works. She knows how I feel. She cuts. She gas tried to kill herself multiple times. But nothing anybody does is helping.
You are never alone. There is someone there who is always trying to help but sometimes they just cant. In fact most of the time they cant. Then you just give up.
there is a great support system on here but i wouldnt get to reliant on it, because, we are all going through some personal hell. so we cant be positive or suportive all the time, but i will try and im sure others will to, if you ever need anything come to me
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sometimes it really helps just to vent on here.
Well then… where to start….. I don’t really know where to start…
with anything at all. seriously.
Well July I was about to over dose but I already had a knife in my hand and decided it would be eaiser… I didn’t stop cutting untill about 5 am that day untill my friend calmed me down temporarily. Then the day after that my mom had been reading my texts and sent me to a mental hospital. And I still look back on that night and regret so much that I never did it. Nothing has changed really. Still my mother has custody of me. Still I want to kill myself. Still I regret not doing it that night. And still I wish I was never born because my life has been hell since I was three. Ten years later I have not changed at all. And that is leaving out almost every aspect of why I’m suicidal.
im so sorry to hear that. its difficult to want to go on everyday when youre in so much pain, but i’m asking you to try. i struggle with the pain of reality every day and it hurts like hell. is there anyone you can talk to, a friend, can you talk to your mom about this, a professional?
I have had a therapist since I was wight because I was in a shelter for people who try to escape abusive husbands and whatnot. That however was because I had a very abusive step father. Telling people has gotten me nowhere in the past. My mother found out and sent me to a mental hospital. Nothing has worked. I’m tired of going on when nothing ia getting better. In sick of the blood, the razors, the drugs and pills, the visits to the hospital. I’m sick of life and telling people hasn’t gotten me anywhere. Just deeperinto depression.
while we’re not going through the same thing, i can totally understand the feeling of being tired of nothing getting better. i am sobbing just as i type this right now, because i feel like everything is getting worse in my life and i have nothing left. im so sorry nothing is helping you either. keep venting on here though, really.
are there any things you can focus on that you enjoy? are there any goals you’d like to accomplish? i know it may be really hard to focus on anything else other than the pain.
I haven’t been able to focus through pain. I did marching band this summer and met some amazing people there who tried to take me under their wing and help me since I was an eighth grader in the highschool band. My now best friend Jessie whom I met there tried to help me but nothing works. She knows how I feel. She cuts. She gas tried to kill herself multiple times. But nothing anybody does is helping.
it makes me really upset that i dont have the ability to help you or myself. but i promise you are not alone, and i guess im not alone either.
You are never alone. There is someone there who is always trying to help but sometimes they just cant. In fact most of the time they cant. Then you just give up.
that really is awful, isn’t it? but i dont want either one of us to give up.
Sometimes its hard not too.
there is a great support system on here but i wouldnt get to reliant on it, because, we are all going through some personal hell. so we cant be positive or suportive all the time, but i will try and im sure others will to, if you ever need anything come to me