I’ve run out of excuses.

I’m 27 years old. Never had a girlfriend, never held a girl’s hand, never kissed, never had sex. I’ve been unemployed for nearly a year. I’ve have a couple friends, but do’t interact with them very frequently. I’ve been overweight my whole life. Even in toddler pictures I’ve seen of myself, I was heavy. Theres no where to go in family, at least whats left of it. None of them have any idea about career or goals or physical/mental health. I’ve thought about killing myself before. The reasons why I didn’t do it were unrealistic fantasies. Maybe one day I’ll……….or I could be such a good………..Its over. I’m tured of pretending one day everything is gonna be okay. It won’t. It really won’t. I have this thyroid issue, so I’ll always be overweight. I don’t know how someone can change their personality. I am who I am. At this point I can’t imagine ever having someone. Whatever excuses I had for not ending it before are gone now.