My story, I guess

Okay when I was 5  I lost judas he was the most important person to me,  my mother is horrible to me most the time,  as my best friend attempted suicide two weeks ago and luckily lived but recently he was in a knife fight and bled to his death.  I’m am bullied have like 5  friends, smoke, smoke weed and cut. Help. Me also yesterday I tried to over does on Tylenol and nothing gads happend yet