No one really understands everything that’s going on in my life…
People can probably relate, but, I feel so alone sometimes, so helpless…
Ive tried to kill myself once. My best friend found me, and took me to the hospital. Said I’d slipped on glass, that I almost died. That’s what they all thought. I was cutting for two years, and NO ONE NOTICED. How do people just not notice things like that?!?!?!
Most of the time, I feel like a battle no one wants me to win. My family life is shit, I have only a few friends, and I see pity on most peoples faces when they look at me in the halls.
Then recently, I fell in love…But hes so far away. I cry almost every night about it. And he’s so much stronger emotionally than me… His mom died… And he can still be happy. I admire him so much, and he’s one of the most perfect things in the world… But I feel like its just something like paper, and if he knew all this, he’d hate me…. What do I do?? I want him to know how fucked up everything is with me, with my family… How my mom tried to kill my dad, how because of my older brother, I flinch when guys come at me in any way. I love him, but I’m so afraid that he wont love what makes me, me… Someone…Please help me… I just don’t know what to do….