The fact is that I need to be someplace else! The major problem that I have towards my existence on earth. I can not do anything in my situation. Given a chance I’ll explain. Very well trying to be old-fashioned I knocked a girlfriend up 11 years ago. While coming in conflict with my career choice, I decided I needed to marry her &support a young offspring. I change my career path from being Involved in aviation to construction worker, which was just fine. Never really enjoying my merriage, but putting up with it for the sake of my son, knowing I will have to put up with it for 18 years for him to grow up. Unfortunately I do not know my outcome.
Years ago while on my way to go deer hunting I fell asleep behind the wheel, overcorrected my truck, got ejected, breaking my neck, leaving me a quadriplegic with no movement from the shoulders down. Oh God in my entire life ended. Friends initially tried to help me . Making my house accessible , the same one which I had great hopes for. Purchase with many years of saving and living in my means -with long-term financial plans. Quickly shifted into nothing paying my bills hospital bills, liquidating everything, becoming what I pledge to never be < welfare, Medicaid, Medicare. Soon after getting out of the hospital placed in a nursing home for 90 days moving back in with my wife for about three weeks, then having to endure some made-up reason for her to want a divorce, and taking my five-year-old at her side running off to her mothers. Six years have passed and I rely on a home healthcare agency who often don't show up. Sitting in this wheelchair, sitting in my shit, unable to wipe my own ass, unable to work, like I have all my life, before my accident. I have two people in my life -and my mom and my 11-year-old son who care for me, so suicide is the weak thing to do. I know and I have no way to inflict it on myself but I want to die so bad, I do not know what to do I have to get out of here, somehow, someway
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Oh my gosh, what a story. i am so sorry for your losses. i dont even know what to say. i can understand why you dont want to be here anymore, but you do have your 11 yr old son and your younger one. Do you see him very often? you younger one? how long have you been a quadriplegic? Is this fairly new to you or has it been years already. the reason i ask is because you hear of stories like yours , but it seems after the person has time to adjust to being disabled they except their new life and manage to deal and live like a normal human being. so how long have you been living this way if you dont mind my asking?
I have been living this way for six years, trying to get better but unable I could use a computer which helps make time go by faster. I see my son all the time he stays at night with me when his mother works it I want to see his successes. but not really in my confines. I’m just stuck here watching the world go by. I want to help others but want to be undercover, I know how others feel!I sure would have liked to have a purpose and would love to help others, but I do not want to be here at all and have been saying that to myself daily or as long as I can remember
You can still help others! That’s the joy of this all, if I were you I’d look into modivational speaking. I find helping others makes me feel good. And I suffer from major depression, but I like to help others who go through what I go through. I think under your circumstances you could make a real impact on others.
I will try to work on a script, crowd or audience – good idea! thank you much for the advice and I know you know how difficult life can be i dont shake a stick a depression , daily choices often are permanent
Good luck to you! 🙂
Suicide is not a weak thing to do. It takes so much courage to end your life.
Best of luck to you in your endeavors.