I’ve taken all the pills I’ve been saving in my little plastic bag. Not as many as I hoped but I still figure there’s maybe a 20% chance I won’t wake up tomorrow. Now that’s the first happy thought I’ve had in months
if i die let it be known that I neveplanned to kill myself on Christmas eve, and it’s had absolutely nothing to do with the dayBut it just so happened that I checked the mail today for the first time in weeks, and I got a letter… two actually… That sent me over the edge.
But Christmas really is a good day to die. People leave you alone on Christmas. You’ve got a solid 24 hours to do the deed.
i had more to say but I can’t keep my eyes open.
4 comments
you’ll wake up tomorrow….pills don’t work, sorry to bum you out. your just going to feel real sick.
Please don’t .. when you wake up tomorrow we should talk.. I’m here for you as many others are 🙂
You guys were right, pills didn’t work… I never expected them to. I just had to do something to stop the pain and was hoping death might be a nice side effect. I puked a lot, passed out and had visions of a burning ship all night. It was so real and beautiful, and I know it was a symbol for my life.
And now back to consciousness, back to reality… Back to 1000 different reasons to kill myself. I don’t think anyone really commits suicide for one reason alone. Sure one thing usually triggers it, but it’s all the little reasons that make us go through with it. That’s why it can’t be cured. I feel helpless, hopeless… and worst of all… pointless.
I also fell hopeless, helpless & as though I am not worth staying alive, but I’ve given myself 12 months to find something hopeful. You could try that