My father’s family came over for Christmas today. I barely ever see his parents, and I saw my uncles for the first time. Mom welcomed them with her fake smile, made them a big lunch, and got them all gifts. She even wrapped some of my stuff and pretended to give me some. They all knew what my father had done, and that he is now incarcerated. (They were really nice to me, apologizing on his behalf, and wishing me well.) But they had no idea that my parents really are made for each other. On a very morbid level. I wanted to tell them so badly. I wanted to explain that my mother was lying about everything. I wanted to beg them to take me away. I wanted to sprint after their car. I wanted to permanently get away from this house today. To be able to live the rest of my life away from my parents. To spend time with people that honestly care about me. To take the first step on the road to recovery. But I didn’t. Instead, I silently watched as my chance at freedom melted into the snow.
11 comments
11 comments
Could one if your uncles actually know about your father’s tendencies? They would’ve grown up together, would they have seen anything then?
They knew nothing about his criminal side until he was imprisoned. But they think my house is safe now.
And I’m guessing that is a wrong idea they have then… I know what you mean, when relatives come over to my house everyone acts like one big happy, secure family, but when they leave reality hits me again. I don’t really have any relatives living close-by otherwise I would’ve tried something. I just wish some people could see things a little deeper down, you know? It’s horrible to see an escape that you don’t/can’t take.
It was like something out of a horror movie. Where someone is being held hostage in the basement when police come into the murderer’s house. Then the murderer lets the police see just enough of the house to get rid of some suspicion and get them to leave. Then the murderer returns to the basement to finish what he started. Meanwhile the hostage gets to see his hope crushed right in front of his face. His one hope, gone.
No Christmas miracles for me.
Haha, that’s a nice accurate description. Except my parents would probably prefer to leave me outside in the cold because they’re complete bastards. If it’s a movie then where’s the happy ending? I can’t wait for that forever.
The happy ending? Where the hostage survives against insane odds and the murderer dies? That won’t happen, but there could still be a happy ending. Maybe the hostage will take his own life before the murderer can torture him again. That’s happy in its own way.
Well, I wouldn’t really want to survive, there’s not really any incentive to live on for anything else if only my household problems just went away. That’s the problem, I just can’t win no matter what happens.
So what keeps you here?
I guess a lack of a reason to die. I don’t know really, perhaps I’m still full of foolish hope.
Not foolish.
It is if it always brings me down further when I inevitably get let down