Ok, this is gonna be long. It started back last march on the 17th I believe. It was a Friday and it was shaping up to be a good weekend, no homework, and I had to do nothing that day. Friends had come other to the neighborhood, and that gas station store out there was selling slushies. So me and my friend were walking back and I said that the day was perfect, then my friend said that we could make it better. Well I was a fool so I said sure and we walked to fields behind my house and… we got high, not to proud of that now. Well the high lasted about 30 seconds, but in my head it could of been a lifetime. Well when it was “over” I guess I was in the middle of the field and I had just broke, my mind was gone. I’d felt like my entire life had been a dream, fake that the most logical thing in my illogical mind was that I must die to wake in reality. So after scaring my friend I told him I had to go home so that… I could kill myself. Well we got to my house and I told my friend to go get me a drink. So after he was gone, I ran into the spare room and grab my flare gun… Yeah I tried to use that to kill myself. But anyway, I loaded up a shot and fired into my chest. Well easy to say that didn’t work, so I reloaded and fired again. Well the fire was getting pretty big, I wanted to die but was too scared to burn alive. So I got up to my friend pounding on the door all he could say ” we gotta go.” Well we ran out and while they’re trying to put out a magnesium fire, which is near impossible. While they’re doing that, I was being so weak… I tried grabbing a knife while they’re are putting out my mess, never told people that part. But I got scared again and didn’t, of course. I instead ran to the pool and out the gate to the front yard where fireman and ambulances were waiting to help. Well the E.M.T. saw that I had burns on my hand and chest so they walked me to the ambulance… but not before I had to hear my mom crying… God that killed me. We got to the hospital, and now of course I’m shaking like a leaf, whats funny in a way is that all the staff there called me Smokey because I smelled so much like the fire. Well they Baker acted me to evaluate my mental condition so they sent me to a Psych Ward, or Loony Bin whichever you prefer. I was there for 3 days, I helped somebody in there, or I’d like to believe. I would like to say that all was well after the fact, but no, I went though depression. Even now I can’t sat that i’m better. But I do feel a little better that you have red or I think you have.