So, I won’t go into the reasons why or what the hell went wrong in my brain. I won’t sit here and say that I’m bipolar and it’s the chemical imbalances in my brains fault. I won’t sit here and say that everyone else had some sort of huge affect on me that I decided to do what I’m doing or had tried to do in the past but didn’t succeed, which was really just more along the lines of making myself suffer rather than putting an end to it. Again, I won’t explain why. Just like me, you all have your own problems. I have come to the conclusion that one problem for myself may be water under the bridge to someone else and vice-versa. Everything affects everyone differently, and it isn’t fair to look at someone because of what they are sad about. Just like medications, drugs, alcohol, everything affects absolutely everyone in a different way. So to explain to you why I’m so upset wouldn’t be saying much when, at this point, it really just does not even matter.
I have tried to off myself several times and never with anyone to really talk about it any of it with, why not put it into words for someone to read, whom I do not know…so…
all the times I’ve tried and failed I look back at what an idiot I was and, i mean shit…I should probably be dead right now. I’ve tried several times to mix the so-called “deadly” combination of acetaminophen and hard liquor, but to no avail. Deadly, my ass..although at this point I’m sure my liver is just barely hanging on, so maybe if I tried again? Ha-ha…
the cutting never worked for me, and the one time I tried it I didn’t want to try it again really, because I was so unsure it would work.
I have, sadly, gone to the store and bought a pack of nicotine patches (i think 20-24?) and placed them all over my body, because my dumb ass saw on some movie that it could kill you. Well, I’m still alive and my body ended up rejected the nicotine, so I was throwing up all night and when I was finally able to sleep, I had literally the most vivid dream I have ever had in my life.
yet another time, I dosed myself up with some LSD and tried to strangle myself (not with my bare hands), but this method didn’t work out so well as you can imagine
I remember searching my dads house from top to bottom because I remembered that he had a revolver stashed away somewhere with plenty of bullets to take my life with, but I’m sure he did a pretty good job of hiding it after my family caught onto my depression some years back.
so I’m to my wits end, I really just want to die. I do believe I want to hang myself, it’s just the choice I’ve made…so, I’m not sure if this is it or not. I really didn’t come on here for anyone to talk this out of me, just honestly wanted some pointers. I’ve been trying to read up on this method, so I’m more sure of how to do this. I’m not sure how to find my carotid artery though, or exactly where to hang myself from, and I don’t really want to climb a tree, but again I guess it doesn’t matter…well, whatever…
5 comments
I think this is the only post i have read so far that hasn’t been self pitying and naive. If you can see all this so clearly how you can still think that suicide is the answer? Don’t look for tips on how to end your life, try all the possibilities to make it better! You must be able to name one thing that is good, whether it’s a goal or a dream to do anything, literally you can do anything with your life, it’s always going to end why do you have to end it now when you haven’t given yourself a chance for it to get better. Have you not read about the many people who have been through this and have come out the other end? whats waiting another 5 ten years and genuinely trying to change your life? Go to the doctor do something about it don’t sit there contemplating suicide. You’re always going to die but do it at the right time and get some happiness out of life first, there will always be people you meet who can make you happy so if you aren’t at the moment change the people you spend your time with they can be the difference between enjoying your life and hating it.
i tried the liquor thing too for a week strait i took a bottle a day and drank and ungodly amount of liquor. i can not give you pointers how to kill your self im sorry even tho i do believe you have the right to but i cant do it. if you would like to talk to me you can reach me at pauldgray1988@gmail.com.
I hear ya, man. I’m pretty desperate to end it myself. I thought I recently had a method nailed down but it turned out to be a bust. Like you, I’ve tried to kill myself with pills + alchohol + other things I won’t mention, but while I was out for about 3 days I didn’t die. That shit doesn’t work. I thought I’d try again tonight but combine it with an exit bag, but that’s a pretty scary idea for me. My stomach is already really messed up and I’m definitely afraid to survive it.
I’ve got no advice and I’m not about to tell you “no don’t do it!” because I’m honestly where you are, but I just wanted you to know I get it.
if you people are seriously going to do it potassium chloride you can buy a bottle of pills online for 7 buck take 20 pills crush them put them in water and mix it well put it over heat and mix more till it is all dissolved and get a syringe and shoot up 100 cc of it and that will stop you heart it took me 6 months to find this way. dont try to over dose on the pills you need 1000x the amount to do it 150 grams if eaten but. its not really the way to do it tho but i will give the the answer
please pauld i need to know more details about that