Why doesn’t anyone care about what I want? I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t. But if I say that to anyone I am constantly reminded how selfish that is of me, and that I’m not thinking of my friends or family.
Call me selfish, I don’t care. I don’t want you to love me, I don’t want you to care about me. I am 20 years old, and ever since I was a little girl I have known that I wanted to kill myself. I think three attempts in the past year should have made this obvious by now.
I can’t trust anyone anymore. I can’t express my true feelings without anyone being concerned.
I can’t promise that I will be here much longer. I can’t promise that I will. No amount of therapy or antidepressants have helped me. I still feel the same way.
I just wish everyone else would understand.
3 comments
Read what you wrote. Why doesn’t anyone care what you want?! People sometimes care about others needs. And people might temporarily care if they’re your secret Santa at Christmas time, but usually people don’t care about what others want. Do you care what others want?
Yes and no. I don’t necessarily care what people think, but I have always had this crazy drive to make other people happy..
I welcome you to my world, la-petit. Although I’m only 2 years older than you, I know that suicide for me isn’t a matter of yes or not, but only a question of time. Even though, I keep going.
My family doesn’t know my intentions because I’ve never revealed them. Problem is that you told us you want to make others happy. Well, at least for me, this desire has destructed me in such a way that I’m currently too wounded to heal. But, still, we are here for the same reason: we somehow need help.
Try to keep your hope and find something worth living, for I think you can. I believe in you, especially because my situation is pretty close to yours. No, I still don’t know what keeps me alive, but you should try to find your motivation, perhaps you can be luckier than me.