Confused….

I don’t know what to do anymore. I have so many questions that are unanswered. One second I’m happy and then one little thing could go wrong and I would be pissed off and sad for the rest of the day or week. I hate having these depressive mood swings. I have very low self eesteem and confidence in myself. I don’t know if I should open up to my friends or not. Somedays I want to be alone and somedays I don’t. I just want godamm hug! Just an out of blue type of hug and for that person to say ” I love you and I care about you. I will always be here for you”. When I dream of this I only wake up and realize it will never come true. I just feel like giving up right now. I cry all the time at night and no one knows it(Well, you do now). To be honest I don’t even feel comfortable writing this because I’m afraid someone I know will find and read this. I just don’t know where else to turn. I just feel like all hope is gone….