This is it!!

Your love has the stink of the desperation of control and dependence.

‘My love is our destruction’
You express your love by destroying yourself and in destroying yourself the hope that who you love will be distorted.
What is love?

@SeaDragonSt
I’m not sure what you mean when you speak of unconditional love.
Unconditional love is a difficult concept and can be dangerous depending on your concept of Love and ability to love yourself.

Note that even the requirement that love be unconditionally is a condition!

Is it possible to Love someone and hold them responsible for their actions?
Is it wrong for Love to set boundaries or is it the boundaries that create the space for love?

Depending on the other to “complete you” or “fix you” or “make life worth living”, “make me happy” is not fair to the other and a responsibility that they will not be able to live up to.

Based on the anger expressed in the post it seemed to me that XxBloodi.AyrxX was expecting if not demanding that the “love” she felt be returned in a way that met her expectations and when it wasn’t let it fuel her anger and destructiveness. I was hoping that she would re-evaluate what she meant by Love.

“The uttermost important subject about suicide is love, especially the lack of it.”

I would agree that people’s concepts of love are an important aspect to their suicidal thoughts but would argue that it’s a distorted concept of love that is the source of their pain and not their relationships.

I don’t know anyone who at one time or another hasn’t fantasised about killing themselves with the secret hope of leaving those left behind feeling bad and regretting how they treated us. – That however is not Love, not for the other or for one self.

I feel very strongly that it is wrong and even unloving to feed the fantasy.

I very much recommend the book:
‘How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving’ by David Richo

“Most people think of love as a feeling,” says David Richo, “but love is not so much a feeling as a way of being present.” In this book, Richo offers a fresh perspective on love and relationships—one that focuses not on finding an ideal mate, but on becoming a more loving and realistic person.
How to Be an Adult in Relationships explores five hallmarks of mindful loving and how they play a key role in our relationships throughout life:

1. Attention to the present moment; observing, listening, and noticing all the feelings at play in our relationships.
2. Acceptance of ourselves and others just as we are.
3. Appreciation of all our gifts, our limits, our longings, and our poignant human predicament.
4. Affection shown through holding and touching in respectful ways.
5. Allowing life and love to be just as they are, with all their ecstasy and ache, without trying to take control.

When deeply understood and applied, these five simple concepts form the basis of mature love. They help us to move away from judgment, fear, and blame to a position of openness, compassion, and realism about life and relationships. By giving and receiving these five A’s, relationships become deeper and more meaningful, and they become a ground for personal transformation.