virgil69

I AM A 44 YR OLD MALE WHO IN 1986 MADE THE MISTAKE BEING A PASSENGER IN A CAR THAT IMPACTED A TREE AT A ESTIMATED 80 MPH.THE TREE HIT THE 77 MONZA DIRECTLY IN THE PASSENGERS DOOR PUSHING MY FEMUR THR MY HIP,PELVIS AND BLADDER.I WOKE A WEEK LATER IN THE HOSPITAL.IN THE FOLLOWING YEARS THE DAMAGE TO MY HIP REQUIRED MULTIPAL SURGERIES AND FINALLY HAD TO BE PINNED.DURING THIS PINNING OPERATION THE DOCTOR PUT ONE OF THE PINS TO FAR AND IT SEVERED THE RIGHT FEMERAL ARTERY,I WAS CLOSED ON THE OPERATING TABLE THE DOCTOR HAVING NO KNOWLEDGE HE HAD DONE THIS.HOURS LATER I ALMOST DIED FROM BLOOD LOSS,THIS LED TO A FEMERAL BYPASS WICH CLOTTED OFF EVERY SIX MONTHS OR SO I WENT THRU THIS EIGHT TIMES EACH TIME MY RIGHT LEG SLOWLY TURNING BLUE THEN BEING RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL.AFTER MANY SURGERIES MY YOUNG BODY GREW JUST ENOUGH CAPULARIES TO KEEP THE LEG ALIVE.IN 1994 A HIP REPLACEMENT WAS ATTEMPTED I AGAIN ALMOST BLED TO DEATH.IT WAS SUCCESSFULL IN 1995 I ENJOYED 4 YEARS(PARTYING ON LAWSUIT MONEY) WITHOUT A HOSPITAL STAY.LONGEST SINCE THE ACCIDENT IN1986.I GOT A GOOD JOB AS A CABINETMAKER QUIT THOSE BAD HABBITS AND FINALLY HAD INNER PEACE.UNTIL ONE DAY AT WORK WHILE CHANGING A BLADE THE WRENCH SLIPPED CUT MY RIGHT THUMB.NO BIG DEAL BUT IT BECAME INFECTED THE INFECTION SPREAD TO MY HIP REPLACEMENT THIS IS 2000.BECAUSE OF BAD BLOOD FLOW SINCE THEN I’VE HAD 9 HIP REVISIONS A TOTAL OF 58 SURGERIES ON MY BODY.NOT EVEN GETTING INTO THE ADDICTION TO OPIATES AND HEROIN THE DOCTORS NOW WANT TO AMPUTATE MY LEG ABOVE THE HIP INCLUDING THE PELVIS I WILL BE BOUND TO A BED IF I ALLOW THEM TO TO DO THIS RIGHT NOW I STILL WALK BUT WITH AN EXPOSED HIP(YOU CAN SEE THE WHOLE JOINT THRU A 12 INCH HOLE IN MY RIGHT LEG)I’VE HAD ENOUGH STARTED TO STARVE MYSELF(1 WEEK NOW) NO BALLS TO HANG JUST END UP STARING AT THE NOOSE FOR HOURS 3 OVERDOSE ATTEMPTS,ONE I WOKE 13 HRS LATER AND COULDN’T HEAR FOR DAYS SO THATS WHERE I STAND OH SLOWLY LOSING EVERYTHING FINANCIALLY LIVING AT PARENTS LOST FIANCE 13 YRS AGO BEEN ALONE SINCE SO I BELIEVE I SHOULD BE ABLE TO THROW IN THE TOWEL AT THIS POINT CAN’T SAY I’M NOT A FIGHTER BUT BEING CUT IN HALF IS WHERE I DRAW THE LINE 7 DAYS WITHOUT FOOD A LITTLE WEAK BUT I HEARD 3 MINUTES WITHOUT AIR 3DAYS WITHOUT WATER 3WEEKS WITHOUT FOOD.I BELIEVE I’M STRONG ENOUGH TO DO THIS LOOK WHAT I’VE ENDURED.MY YOUNGEST BROTHER DIED IN IRAQ IN 04 CAN’T WAIT TO SEE HIM(THE GREENER SIDE)I REALY MISS BEING IN LOVE TOUCHING A WOMEN BEING TOUCHED BUT WHO’S GOING TO WANT HALF A PERSON WOULD LOVE TO CHAT WITH OTHERS WHILE I GO THRU THIS STARVATION PROSSESS THANKS FOR THE CHANCE TO VENT  ROBERT