I feel so Pathetic

After reading through the horrors some people have suffered here, I feel as though the way I feel right now is selfish and unnecessary.
It started a year ago when I first started college. As the year went on, I felt something build up inside me that was stopping me from sleeping. An anxiety that eventually made me too sick to go to college. It got to the point that I had to stop going to college because of it. That was February of 2012.
I put it down to not liking the college, at told myself to try a different one next year (Sept. ’12). And that’s what I did. I joined a different college and the same thing happened again, except this time this sickness came suddenly and forcefully.
Well, now I’ve been out of college for three months; there’s nothing I want more than to get a good education so I can go onto get a high paying job that I’ll enjoy – that’s how the world works. But something within me is stopping me from doing that. And I’m ashamed of myself because of it. Next year, I’ll be 19, and I’ll be trying college again. But I don’t want to be a 19 year old in with a bunch of 16 year olds and I fear that I may just relive what I’ve experienced the past two years, and I’ll never get where I want to be.
The reason I’m here, writing this, is because I’ve stopped seeing a future for myself. I wanted to teach, but now I know I can’t even achieve that. I had a plan to go to college then university and onto a job, but now I waste away at home, living with my parents, in front of this screen, because it’s the only place I don’t feel sick; I stay up as long as I can so i don’t have to wake up the next day.
I can’t help thinking that maybe some people weren’t made for this world, and maybe I’m one of them. After all, we weren’t asked to be brought into this world, surely it should be our choice when we should leave?
I’m so weak against everything. People keep telling me that I have to be strong against these feelings, but they consume me until I can’t think of anything but escape. Of Relief.
As I said at the start. I’ve suffered no hardship in my life. I’ve been quite privileged to have a loving mother. But I just can’t cope with this darkness ahead of me. And no one can offer any answers. This sickness I feel has stopped me from eating, so maybe I’ll starve to death, who knows. And if people think I’m taking ‘the cowards way’, then fine, because I won’t be here to argue.