To be honest all I want to do right now is die, and I feel this way every time things get hard for me because everything around me starts to get affected like my health,school work,etc. Right now I’m not doing too well in school I guess because  I’m feeling worse and when I see a bad grade I just feel like I don’t care because everything isn’t alright silly I know but I am doing work just not as much effort. I remember searching for ways to treat my depression everything to the symptoms   and  saying I’d deal with it on my own and nobody would know and it’d be over in no time but it’s been nearly a year since then and I still have depression and the best way for me to describe it is it’s like a balance scale one side I want die and give up on the other I want to work it out and some days one out weighs the other and it’s a constant struggle