new

Sometimes we are given more than we can handle, and that sucks. I’m tired of fighting for me, I’m tired of the lack of knowledge people have of depression, I’m just tired. I’m tired of taking pills, I’m tired of doctor appointments, I’m tired of faking all is well when I just want to be done. I’m tired of having to hide my emotions because of the fear of the release, I’m tied of the crappy events in my life messing with my mind. Sexual abuse by my brother when I was four, cutting, eating disorder, miscarriage, diagnosed with breast cancer when I was 29 years old and 35 weeks pregnant, surgery after surgery, treatments, diagnosis of sarcoidosis, I’ve quit my job to take care of my mom who has moved in with us, I’m being discussed about by my brothers because I m surely being accused of getting more then they are going to down the road. My cutting and suicide thoughts got out of control and I spent 9 days in a psych hospital last year.

I watched my dad die of cancer, and miss him way more than I thought I would. The worst part of people close to me finding out that I was cutting, is now I feel even more alone. and here I thought that revealing this horrible secret would be freeing, when in fact it’s trapped me even more.

Welcome to my ***** fest. Welcome to my life. Sigh….