I should be out of bed by now. It’s one in the afternoon, and I have a lot of cleaning I need to do. But no, I’m in bed, wondering why I can’t cry when I feel the sting of should-be tears in my eyes. I’m in bed, reading a depressing book where someone commits suicide and leaves behind a fiancee and an overbearing mother… I’m in bed, wondering how deep I’ll be able to cut without dying. I’m in bed, nauseous from the taste of morning breath, sore from yesterday’s cleaning. I don’t want to live anymore. I have nothing to offer my boyfriend, with his own issues getting worse, or to my mom who just wants me to have decent grades, a clean room, and completed chores. Why can’t I be some heartless *****, easily killing myself without worrying about those I leave behind. One suicide effects 5 other people deeply.
1 comment
You’re probably not going to feel any less tired later on or tomorrow or with more sleep. Your going to have to motivate yourself somehow. Get everything checked out by a doctor. You could have some sort of deficiency or imbalance that can be identified by tests. If not you could be suffering from something like chronic fatigue syndrome. That’s difficult to treat but you’ll never know what can or can’t be done unless you explore everything.