So, two days ago, I almost killed myself. or, I almost intended to. I put a plastic garbage bag over my head (lavender scented, nonetheless) and tightened the opening around my neck. I then breathed calmy in and out, until I started running out of air. To clarify, I wasn’t attempting suicide. I know that, if I tried that way, I’d just pass out, not die. I just wanted to see how it would go, would it be a peaceful way to go? Anyway, when I started to run out of air, I almost didn’t let go. I wanted to die so much for a quick moment. I did take it off, and was breathless for a bit, then light-headed, then just a little dizzy. I took a couple hits of my inhaler, but it didn’t have much effect. I told two people who know where I live (current boyfriend and the ex before my last ex…) just to tell them. Sure, they got upset, but did either of them call the police, or my parent, or the local mental hospital? No. It was a fucking cry for help. I told them so they could tell someone who would save me.
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I wrote down my dream of shooting myself and let my best friend read it. He just said, fucked up man. I didn’t write it for the hell of it.
Obviously, humans don’t have the ability to read minds. Make yourself clearer so you can receive the help you need. Can you do that?
Stop blaming others. If you want help go get it. Sometimes you have to care about you instead of expecting others to. Why should other people care when you don’t even care enough to want to live for yourself? Instead you’re doing goofy melodramatic plastic bag suicide attempts.
wow bluemonday, you obviously are here for a reason. Stop giving negative criticism and do something productive with your time. And Miss Blythe, yes it was a cry for help. Unfortunately, teens in today’s society are not usually taken seriously by their peers because of this new wave of “fake suicide for attention” craze. I’m sure, like myself and many others on this site, that your struggles are serious. But you are relying on the wrong people to help you. If you are truly looking for help, go to an adult or at least someone more mature than those fools.
Bluemonday: If I cared about myself, would I have attempted suicide three times since I turned fifteen? Would I ruin my body with scars, hoping to one day be able to cut deep enough? You’re the kind of person that drives people like me to want to do this. Obviously, you have no idea how I feel or what I’m.going through, otherwise you’d be more empathetic.
ActingHuman: Thanks…I’ve never been able to talk to adults though. When I saw my shrink two years ago and talked about being depressed, she just passed it off as teenager shit, like my feelings were just a part of life. I didn’t tell any adults about the first time I got raped until two-three months later, because my friends were spreading rumors that I enjoyed it, and I just couldn’t hear it anymore.
blythe…. I do not want to start a battle here – but I am guessing (hoping) that bluemonday was trying to say why are you relying on others to call someone if you need help? Make that call yourself.
You are old enough to write it here…. and you wrote it very well. Find a therapist who DOES listen well. Not all adults are demeaning and rude. Some actually can relate to your generation.
It sounds like you have gone through a lot in your life. And personally – I can not wish anything but a painful death on a rapist….. That being said – I hope you turn your anger/hurt that you feel outward. Do not hurt yourself because someone else is slime.
YOU DID NOTHING WRONG…. HE DID
You were violated. That is wrong by him. Not you. Get some help, that level of hurt will not just *go away*. It requires…. it REQUIRES professional help.
*best wishes*
I don’t blame teens for not trusting adults. If they’re not crushed by the debt we admit to today, then they’ll certainly be doomed by the ~17X “unfunded liabilities” promised to the old sick and dying. We really threw teens today under the bus, leaving them with a polluted radioactive landscape and slim pickings. It’s cruel and unusual.
i dont want to really go into politics…. but “we” did not give them this debt. “SOME” of us fight like hell to end that madness, but the gimme, gimme, gimme crowd is winning.