This is quite simple, there isn’t much to explain but ill write how i feel, it doesn’t really matter cause thats not the point of this post.
Tbh, i really hate myself, my body, my face, the way i am, im 21 and full regrets. i wanted to live my life in a certain way but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn’t and i still cant change it, i ended up being lonely and i started thinking about suicide.
my question: When you think about commiting suicide, what are you thinking ? regreting h0w you lived your life ? about the ppl you will leave behind (how will they react/feel) ? anything else ?
share your suicide story
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From the people I know that actually committed suicide they have nothing to think about. It’s void that brings the purpose of suicide, not thought. People who yet still think while committing suicide can easy withdraw or reconsider an alternative. But from the people I knew they had only the void and so they ended their lives.
I think about the fear I live in, how I’m stuck at home alone all day. About how much I hate my mother but love my little brother and sister like my own children, but she constantly gets in the way of me sewing them. How all of my family turned their back on me for a reason I dont know, so I turned my back on them. How I just sit on autopilot while my “other selves” take over…but then they do things for reasons I can’t explain to anyone who asks.
Which is why I get mad when I hear the “suicide is selfish.” Bit.
Anyone who would gilt someone they “love” into living a life of fear from everything (I am an artist who is litteraly terrified of her own hands), is the one being selfish.
I can certainly relate to some of what you are thinking. And yes – I have had several attempts.
Not sure if I recall for certain what I was thinking at that instant. I do not think I was thinking of anything other than “I do not want to be *here* anymore”. Part of me would love to just start over as a new person. But, I do not want to give up my family either…. Twisted – I know.
After I overdosed – I looked at some pictures that I have near my bed and just wept. But at the moment of attempting – I really do not think that my thoughts were anything other than I need to die.
Oh – and i very sincerely hope that you choose a BETTER path. Don’t give in to the depression. Find SOMETHING that matters to you on push on.
please.
At this point, all there is to think…is it really my only option?
I have thought this almost every night and here I am…somehow still breathing.
Life is short…but the hurt & pain make it impossibly long. Try not to quit. If there is even the smallest of thing to cling on to…try