My suicide letter

Please read it. It´s mabye the least thing I´ll let this world. (Sorry for the bad english , brazilian here  the çletter was originaly in portuguese , and as I dont have the patinecie to re-wtrite it , it google traducted it.)

Well, my family if you are reading this now, I already am no longer among you. I know, strange, even more for you than ever realized how I was feeling alone, abandonada.Não for you, and of course, my choice was to abandon them, especially my mother, for staying with you and pretend to be this family happy while you secretly let out their venom on me and made it seem my fault your sadness and madness. You never had to work seeing my wrists, under which many of my bracelets always had saved itself the marks of battles that could not win. I’m not crazy, or even can be, but now, I went crazy at least I’m not from this world most of which never belonged. Both that never belonged to this world that I had to create another one, where I could do everything, everything was so beautiful and sombiro, a world where I felt the desire, without orbigações without that constant gray cloud hanging over me.
For many, what I did may seem cowardly. But not for lack of fight and I did it. I tried it, stand it for a year, and now, as you can see, my strength is simply exhausted. And my choice to die, always wanted this forever empty and calm with which I imagine looks like death. I know that some will miss me for a while, and the pain of having to become only a memory for these people weighed on my conscience to take this decisão.Não not think I thought about each one that would be truly tirste, the tears that would cause it to me would have already finished everything. But the world of which I chose to leave early still. For those who finjiriam miss me, just to have a reason to drop tears that were anguishing late for departure, I apologize too. Death may not be well accepted for most people but for me, she and my most valuable asset. know that has an outlet, an eternal descnaço was the only thing that moved me for a long time.
I’m unsure what to say here, knowing that I’ll be writing my last words, and hoping that some of them become eternal pelomenos to some of you. A goodbye so huge, no expected return, be throwing me into the unknown and deixanod everything to back, and a decsão difical I was required to take. Pesso then to read, if not all, my last letter to my friends, the last request from a girl who lived among you for so long, they simply decided to close the book, go. I wish I could do a letter to each of you, until praqueles I do not talk much, can make your life better, make them smile, but my time and agora.A short personal piece that I write can now be read at my memorial, and for every person that I write u peopl kindly to that my last words are heard
Sorry the order, and not of importance and relevance nor the order of names I’ll colcar aki.
Lia valeriano:
First read, wanted to start apologizing to you. I know it will be very dificult even fighting agent from time to time, I know you really liked me, friend. We was very friendly and very still, keep in mind that I’ll always be with you. I do not know if you ever noticed  the state in which I found myself already if you could see the tears behind the smiles. And do not think you could have helped me out of this, any help you could give me you gave me already, because I can go away with comfort in the heart of many laughs I gave was with you. We have so many stories, so many things we live together, and you, of this, the lina I feel happier for having known you. I know its dificult to understand , and how  you don´t believe in God or heaven and hell, I can not know but in my vision, I wouldn ´t be  seeing you, but please put a  a smile on your face. I dont want  want you to forget me, but not only remember me by my tragic end, but by the moments that pass by all the happy and the unhappy arrange fun problems, complaints, hours on the phone talking about nothing and everything in caiçaras in mulberry or banks looking at pond, the game of tic-tac, cinnamon … Remind me of the little things, the looks, the smiles, the tickets … and also the funny moments as the day you took the “juice” in class Pyshique with Bacri and spat it into the sink … I love you so much, a big hug for you, thanks for everything.

Andressa beauvilain (sorry, not yet learned to write his name the right way)

Dedessa (remember that before he met me, you had no nickname, which I gave you the nicknames of this …) You are also one of the people that I have more joy to have known. Because you havn´t rejected me when I stayed  in a different class of Lia  and lina, by luck I had asked to sit by your side, for the friendship it gave gave. You also will be eternal, and I hope I am to you, in pictures … You already know how I was, then  the shock should not have been so strong … Of course you should never have imagined that really end like this … Beautiful, clean the tears from your eyes, and smile, look forward, because I ALWAYS’ll be with you too … And so dificl say goodbye to you, for you I love you so much (do not take this the wrong way) but if I could took you with me, our Invision Power was building, where there was not time, so we , girlfriends … Dificl know and understand why, or even how someone can get to that point, but please understand that from my point of view and courage, the courage to spend the knife on my neck. Courage to say goodbye to people like you who tagged me so much … You were one of the only who knew who cared, but I understand that you n know what to do, and I understand that you do not believe much in mmi, and excuses, and so I really, really do not stand it anymore, to live with my parents, all seem so dead end, this world is so unbearable to the point where I do not get to dream. But I hope you’ll always be happy, and brilahnte, and beautiful, and wonderful, like you ~ ^ and always has been … I love this, love you even 3

Lina Conti:

Lina, you can make some time that agent is not talking. But I never forgot you, and always missed having the conversations we had, their impartiality … You were always one of the people whom I most mirrored, qu I most admired. You simply live by itself, and you move your pride more than anything. Many of my smiles, my laughter, my moments of madness tbm form with you, all games that agnt did when we were younger, the kind Nha Nha … I bet you’ll be one of the least understood because what I fz I did. But not peopl who understands you? 1que The only thing I’ll ask for you and get on with your life, and remember me with the same happiness that you remember, and with the same care with which each of you will take in corração me in eternity that awaits me. I love lina 3 (because that heart is worth putting)
Caroline Cuypers:
Even without knowing us very well, and we spent some time together (which I regret now, at the very end) know you understood why I did not take anymore. and I know you tried to help me, but my silecio was too cold. 3 Kisses carol
Maria Beatriz:
You are part of one of those who will cry for feeling truly miss me, but vai to enjoy some sun dried and retained over time. Even I do not escrevdno Mutio for you, and forgive me for my incpacidade to write here, but rather hinder the tears … I loved being with you all this time, because I could vivr, intesamente with you by my side .. Mb love, brigade 3

David White:

Deividi! My bff! Your the best guy, srly , you and most of which I’m feeling homesick, and weigh to leave … I know you only knew a little time, and perhaps have not understood the seriousness of the situation … But who’s to blame, right ? if instead of fighting tears out of my eyes, gave loose and empty smiles? We went through so much together, and by mere chance, so we turned friends! You have been very important to me capellete.Você saw something in me that few saw: someone different … and thanks for that. Thank you for all the moments I spent with you, the laughter, the bickering kao, everything, everything! The drops, you were one of the only people who really believed in me. So sorry if I disappoint you because I love you, and you best friend in the world, do not have any regrets of having met you, you made the brief years that I spent on earth a little more bearable 3

Aki I wrote for my best friends from school .. What part of the few people that actually made me feel a little happier, a little special, a hint of color in a life so gray and sadd.But without even taking them been so special in my life, still I did not trust any of them  100%. Actually never trusted anyone, only in a person. I never trusted on myself .Mabye  this has been one of the factors for my life to end like this: a life without basic nexus, no difference. I couldn´t  depend on anyone, but not trust means not feeling, not having altogether, always tried to little.Keep all to yourself. Until one day by doing this, I sufocate.A only person in whom I trusted, followed life. And I think it was the right thing to do. Im lost. A hopless was hopeless. But for him, who was so special, even never having known him in real life, I will send a  very special letter and great …

For Felipe Miguel, sosa (write him I love him, and tell him what happened … say that I sent a bye, and all asorte the world, even more can not respond, it will always be for him to help with problems … That is when he saw anime one day, sitting on your bed or in front of the pc alone, it’ll be with him … I love you little bro 3 obliged, even you who helped me most was it all … for a moment, I could rely on someone so much, I felt loved and not lonely … Brigade 3) This letter and for you, knowing that you will read n …
The Times made that decision, that to protect me, do not let nobody else … No one else netrar be next, would not get up, would not fight the inevitable, so expect life to bring me to death, and if I do not arrive early to do … But I never stopped worrying about others, never failed to help them, and as I told you, I AM a cane broken. And helping you, suddenly, by a failure by a frauqeza, you were going to sneak more and more, until one day you became indispensable … I helped you, do not know if most of you helped me, I needed someone, that someone was you. And told me he’d never leave … and its not possible culpa.Não and you spend forever in a castle querbado.Eu always afraid of becoming only a memory, and both fought, thane for it not to happen again, maybe fate, or pure chance that make life keep me and proved that a reality which can not run. I tried, tried and ahh, do not let you go, the more it hurt me so much … And day after day, saw you walking away, away, and could do nothing. You no longer depended on me. Therefore, no more than you could depend on. So I started to let you go, do not you sought more, again hid my problems and put my mascara.Cada again that world where I had someone who knew who cared, also withdrew. Every tear I shed, a fight with myself was not aguentie perdida.Então one day and went to talk with you … and you looked so happy, having relied on me for so long, did not need me.
I decided then again that will not let anyone entrar.E this time nobody vai.Por this time, I really do not want entrem.Porque everyone, regardless of promises made that one day, the tears or smiles they shared with me the stories. All .. gone.
I do not know what will happen to me now … I have to say goodbye to you once you todas.De and maybe this world too.
My days are dull, in a gray escuro.Solitarios, as ever, because after you have brought color, and taken it from me, the gray seems to hurt more, remember one thing that had for so long poco, in my hands, a delicate thing will put normal …
I trusted you more than this in his todos.Mas now time to turn only a memory.
This in my time to go too … The life that I lived in a state so deplorable at times, was pelomenos a life …
I loved you, not as a boyfriend but as a brother. A friend, best friend. You’ll be with me always. I have to leave, and Bovio. So why do so will be dificl forget? all conversations, one night in particular that fought both for our own lives … You gave me what the fight, what to believe, even for a short time.
Thanks for momentos.Talvez not know, it’s my time to turn just a reminder to everyone. Search this eternity, empty and so quiet, smooth …
Kisses …
Mariikawaii: 3
I’m not leaving you alone bro … even Serio.

Why are my last words, do not care that some seriously hurt who made me make that decision. And better, now do not need to contain.

Mother (Liane Kings):
You know how many times I wanted to give her a slap on that despicable guy? Spitting on you, because I’m sick of you. Probably not vain let you read this part, you will protect the mudno apart and consequences, as they always do. I Odei everything about you, your hair, your eyes, your jeityo of respeirar like a parasite that steals so air, his way of walking, a sergeant in the military, their looks so sharp and idioas, the words you esolhia to use, disgusting and ridiculous, that neither his personality merda.Puta, *****, you was the biggest reason I finished well, so decadente.Não because I missed the “MAMA” WHAT I ALWAYS HAVE BUT NEVER HAD QUIZ or for I have never managed to be the fucking “little girl” that you both wanted: someone without a soul, so that you follow, perfectly drained, coldly rational, someone you serve and you wait the one day of the year that you do not come back “tired” the work you did not FUCK NO. They call you at work and fluffy? Because they do not know who you monster and beyond. And annoys me more than anything that his penchant for doing mudno around for you, always pretend to be poor and desintendida.Sabe what I enjoyed doing ‘mommy? “So I’d like to get into his room with a knife barbecue and watch you sleeping with your useless life and fuitl, miseravle that face, full of lies, and know that I could kill you there emsmo, make you suffer reconfo me, I already imagined hundreds of thousands of times I’ll murdering thousands diferentes.Cada sprues of detail enjoying more and more my mind, his blood leaving, their cries muffled assholes under the pillow, closing his eyes to never open .. Its useless attempts to hold my arm. ask for and forgiveness, especially to ask pity, as if you had the right to ask for mercy for those who’ve taken so much, made him suffer so much … I wrote all this because the scene I thought of after my death inojava me, telling you tododos “but she hated me” with that look of his lost dog, joining his vaca.E all around him, unsure of everything you sofere me and calling me a fool, saying that I do not deserve you. That .. and to prove to them all that she’s not poor little historia.Nao soueu and, as I say “I am not the devil but I will not be your hero” That ***** fucking asshole who deserves to rot in hell lost all respect I had for her simply by her house the title of mother. She carried me for nine months, but I had to carry it babacamente, trying hard to be what I was not, charge someone for whom I have so much hatred for nine anos.Como can not express all the hatred that I have for you and I leave this unfinished world. Hopefully you suffer a lot, cry a lot and never forget that I NEVER, not even for a minute, even when I tried to force myself to believe the opposite, I was his daughter. never even wanted to be. And I could never say that to you, because then you are ganahria your little game, the only thing I could do was wait, wait to get muslin, but you can see cmo aguentei.E and not this one of the only memories I have sadness to remember, because let esssa so sad and lonely life with lebraças a happy and almost forgotten past: I never had a mother. And you, miserable *****, NEVER had a daughter. dare not come to visit me, not you dare look into the sky and and wonder where I am. dare not think of me, not because I want my image for their Basterds pensamentos.Morre dirty slut, but do not look at me, do not think about Me. Nevermore.