I know sometimes it feels like we’re in this for nothing. Some days you can’t get out of bed. Most days you can’t get out of bed. When you close your eyes and lay down, all you can hear are the voices that make you eat your mind. Sometimes they’re so loud that all you can do is silently scream by yourself. Sometimes you have to actually scream at nothing. That’s what it seems like, right? Like you’re screaming at nothing? It’s like the problems aren’t problems in reality, but the fact that you exist at all is the problem. I can vividly describe the nothing that I am. I know it too well. You can picture the headlines, and everyone in shock at your funeral right? I could. I have. I did. I still do sometimes, but the only thing that really keeps me going is that sliver of hope that one day, I’ll feel it. I don’t know what it is. I don’t know what feeling happy is really like because I strip it away from myself whenever I come close. I always screw something up, but somehow I haven’t done it yet. I have not yet destroyed myself completely. When I realized that I was strong enough to hold on to a sliver of each day, my soul wept for every other person that has since understood the same dream, because here we are, right here as members of this site still holding on to each day, whether we admit it or not. Every day you deny your hands the right to take your life, you hold on to the dream that you’ll feel it one day. Yes I’m a lose. Yes I’m unattractive. Yes I don’t feel like I’m worth a damn thing. But that sliver of hope though, it’s there, you can’t deny that. Just as you cannot deny your feelings of self- hate and invisibility, you can’t deny the hope either. That sliver of hope is what makes you a warrior for each day. Not everyone bears this burden, and not everyone survives, but you, you have, and will continue to survive because you’re here right now. When I have to push through each day, and believe me we all do at times, I just have to find that sliver of hope. Some days I find hope in a friend, when I see that tear come from their eyes when they tell me they care. I see a world of love in that tear. But how could I deserve it? How can I justify accepting the love of others? I can’t, but that is why I keep trying to live up to it. I don’t think Im worth much, but when I see someone in my life that cares about me, and I can’t accept the love, I simply have to move forward and try to reciprocate it in the best way that I can because they deserve it. I’m not saying it’s easy to just keep walking when breathing feels like a chore. What I’m saying is that because I’m here today fighting myself in this world, I am worth it. What I’m saying is that because you are here, reaching out, you are worth it. I don’t even know you, but at the same time I kind of do, because I understand the disease that haunts us. Please don’t let it take you, friend, you’re more than just a number. Please stay here and join me in peace. Silently we mourn the loss of our loved ones. I think somewhere back we lost you, so please stay so I can hold my heart up high for you. You can do this, my friend. I need you.