Man, I screw everything up. I finally had someone to talk to, and I was much too honest. I just said how I really felt, but I barely know her, and it isn’t her problem. I feel so stupid. Depression is so venomous, and everything I touch is poisoned. I feel like I can’t tell anyone on this planet, except people on this site, how I really feel. They just can’t take it. I get that though. Clearly, I’m about at the end of my rope with it. Just the moment I gain some hope, I screw it up again and want to die even more. Maybe I should just go through with it. I’m not the only one better off with me dead. Everyone is just so much the better if I die. If I could, I’d make it so I never existed. Then they’d be even better.
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I feel the same way. As soon as you find someone you think you can really trust, and can finally tell everything to, leaves you, right when you feel like you’re worth something, anything, and then you’re nothing. Less than you’ve ever been.
BTW, If you ever need to talk or stuff. I’ll listen. And I’ll never leave.
I really appreciate you being available. I’m here for you if you need to talk as well. I know how hard it is to find people who understand and won’t leave. Unless they experience it, they just can’t grasp it. I just don’t know how to gauge relationships. Who can you trust? Who can handle what you have to say? You know what I mean?
I understand completely. For me it’s like, you can’t trust anyone. I’ve only ever opened up on here and my tumblr. And, for who can handle it, I think nobody can handle it. It’s just happens and we get over what we hear, or get used to it. Either way not handling it is unavoidable. It’s the reason why most of us are here, is it not?