Looney Bin

I had a normal life. Everything close to perfect. I grew up with the largest dreams. Im 17 now a lot different than I was when I was younger. So many things have change.Well here’s how I think my depression grew(yes grew because everyone has depression some time in their life) I was a freshmen in highschool it was perfect. I loved it. I fell for this girl. She was a grade below me. She was so sweet and just was my entire world(I never had a girlfriend before then) She said that she loved me too. We would talk day and night about just everything. Then I started getting these feelings. Feelings of jealousy. Id be afraid if any other guy would talk to her. I was scared that someone would take her from me. Months past and it seemed like she lost interest in me..I didn’t know how to feel. Id start to cry for no reason at all. Then one night I we were texting and she stopped. I tex5ed her the next morning..nothing. The next day was the same and so on for months(I started talking to her back in december of 2008). I havent heard from her since and I see her at school and she doesn’t even look at me. I felt the worst pain in my stomach and loss of breathe when I first saw her again. Id cry every morning since she was gone. I got over her and this other girl came into my life. She said that she’d be nothing like the last girl. I believed her. She was perfect. We went almost a year and then it all fell apart on my birthday of 2010. She didn’t call or even text happy birthday. We both had jobs and we both were busy that day. Finally that night she said happy birthday. I felt better. Then everything was back to normal. One night later she calls me late at night and tells me that she loves me. It made me happy. The next morning she textes me saying that she doesn’t want this anymore. I cried and call her to ask why and she never answered. The feelings came back. The stomach pain and the loss of breathe. I couldn’t take it. I decided to kill myself. I called my mom and told her that I wanted to kill myself. She told me that I wouldn’t dare to. She cried over the phone. She got home and took me to an urgent care clinic. They gave her names for therapist. I went to one. Those were cold days.i got put on medicine that gave me the worst stomach pains(ironic) the girl who had left me two days after my birthday texted me. She acted like nothing happened. It killed me. I couldn’t take it. I went into the kitchen and grabbed a knife and just cut my chest. My mom walked in and took my arm and took me to the hospital.i waited 4 hours before a therapist came in. She told me that I would have to be sent to a mental hospital. I was so scared. I spent a week in that mental hospital. One girl there called it the “Looney Bin”. I was so happy when I went home. The girl would still text me and later on we actually were good again..in love. Months went by. I had to cry myself asleep many nights because of her. Still to this day she hurts me but I just love her so much that I cant be without her.