Hi My name is Somer,
I am currently a freshman in college, dealing with depression and anxiety. All I want is to be happy and feel good about myself. I just don’t believe in living anymore. Everyday I wake up feeling fat and ugly, worthless and stupid. My mind keeps telling me that I am not worth it, that I should die. I truly believe that if I was skinny, my life would be better. If I don’t get skinny soon, I will kill myself.
12 comments
It’s a bit personal, but how skinny are you? Have you asked others what they think?
Trust me. Loosing your weight won’t make things much better. I thought the same about my acne. I used to have lots and lots of acnes, no I don’t have any and still my love love (and social life) hasn’t improved.
Oh I’m her best friend and she is supa dupa skinny and fit and beautiful! We were on the same swim team together and went to the same school.
Ok mes1234, so if she is already supa dupa skinny why does she need to be more skinny?? 🙁 even your best friend says you’re beautiful!
I remember being my thinnest – and at the time, the only thing I saw was my stomach, nice and flat. I was oblivious to the unhealthy looking ribs, and how, almost, mis-shaped, i was getting. I’m at a normal weight now, and if (due to stress or a tight schedule) I start just loosing a few pounds, the feel of my bones being too prominent scares me. Please know that being fit, and being skinny are totally different. Going to the gym, or running will help you get a better body AND releases endorphin’s that ease depression for a time. it’s good. 🙂
I don’t feel beautiful, but worthless when I’m fat. Gaining weight makes me feel like I’ve failed. I currently weigh 120, and I’m 5’5… why do I think this way. I’m seriously dying to be anorexic. Help me stop these feelings please
5’5″ 120 lbs is ideal … being too thin can be very unhealthy and look unattractive
dawg
Somerville, you really shouldn’t be worried about this. I know it’s a huge issue for you, but you have to think clearly and ask yourself if this is worth dying over. If you’re wanting to be skinny to be pretty, you don’t need to do that; love is meant to apply to someone no matter how they look or if they are thin or fat. Love doesn’t bother with that, and if you think you will get attention when you are thin you won’t get it from people that want to love you, just people that want to use you. You shouldn’t be changing yourself when people should love you for who you are, you should move on and find people that will accept you instead, that is, if this is the problem for you…
what vacatedhappiness said
I’m not sure at what age my brothers started teasing me and calling me “fatty patty 2×4”. My mom would tell them to stop saying it, because it wasn’t true. But then she stopped. I do remember that my bing eating started when we moved to the USA when I was 12 and that I quickly moved to the obeses category. I’ve rollercoastered in my weight, but have remained there for 20 years. The one constant has been my thought that if I were skinny that my life would be better. I would be attractive, loveable, successful, happy, healthy (not crazy)…. This year I FINALLY lost the weight. I lost 120 lbs. I get to wear skinny clothes and I get to be “carefree” just like a “normal” person. But I still feel like i’m 280 lbs. I hate getting compliments because I never know what to say, because it doesn’t feel good. This was supposed to change my life. The reality is that my psych problems are still here. Perhaps down the road I might embrace this body, but don’t wish upon a star that losing weight will change your life. Because I’ve spent my entire life doing that and it doesn’t. In fact, I remember running a marathon a few years ago. I signed up during one of my crazy manic phases. I was surrounded by all of these skinny girls and I felt so out of place because I was the only fat girl. But I realized during during our training runs that skinny doesn’t not e
Somer, it sounds like you have Body Dismorphic Disorder (BDD), which makes you think that you are overweight, when in fact you are ideal weight or slightly underweight. If you are losing weight because you think guys will like you, I can tell you that guys don’t like anorexic looking girls. I don’t think that any guy wants to be with a skeleton girl. Eat lots of protein and carbohydrates so that your muscles can rebuild.
Being skinny isn’t really all it’s cracked up to be.
I’m 100 pounds and I’m 4’11. I’m decent looking and I can easily make people laugh with my silliness.
I have a somewhat decent appearance and I always act happy.
But people still don’t want to associate themselves with me. They make fun of me, they try to physically abuse me, they verbally abuse me, etc.
Even my family does it.
It won’t really change anything. I mean, it might give you attention if you’re craving it. Personally, I don’t like attention. The only attention I get is from lolicons that are 18+ since I’m 15 and have a childish appearance while both having an elegant form of speech and a silly personality. I don’t like it. You can take my life if you want.c:::
i have video gameeeessssss.~~~